Abel to Yzerman
Up 2-0? Awesome. Voox? Keep ‘Em Comin’.
by IwoCPO on 05/22/09 at 02:00 PM ET
Comments (37)
If you don’t know who Voox is, and if you don’t know his job among the 19? You might want to stop reading. As many of you realize by now, the lead to every post shows up on the main page. But what follows below is an A2Y exclusive.
So if you’re not a Wing fan, and I mean an obsessed one, a pathetic one, one who may stay in bed all day tomorrow if the Wings lose tonite? Then reading the rest of this probably isn’t something you’d enjoy.
Because I’m here to tell you that I am stressed the F out. Something about this game tonite has me pacing already. Something about this game forced me to crack one at 1100. Is it Datsyuk? Maybe. Why? Because of this. Mike, just what the fu** are you talking about?
“Nothing (Datsyuk) has done today would give us any indication,” said Babcock.
Dude. Seriously. Today’s not the day to be messing with us. WTF is “nothing he’s done today would give us any indication” mean? So when you saw him at breakfast or whatever and he was (a) limping (b) not limping (c) grimacing or (4) being wheeled around by Darren Helm while Bob Seger’s “Nutbush City Limits” blared in the background? Which was it bitch?
I’m betting none of the above. I’m betting Datsyuk’s been in a soft cast since Tuesday night and I’m also betting he’s not playing tonite and everybody knows it but you and me. Uncle Mike knows it. Dangle and Tick Tock all know it. The Diggers do and so do his teammates.
My guess is Datsyuk won’t be in the lineup tonight. They might be waiting on something, but his equipment wasn’t set out in the visitors locker room after the morning skate.
MacLeod again. And let’s get dirty. Ready? If Datsyuk’s not in tonite it’s because a shot won’t help. And if a shot won’t help then I guess that means it’s broken. And if it’s broken?
If it’s broken then go ahead and bend over because we won’t be seeing him skate again until September. And if he’s out the rest of the playoffs? Well, if that’s the case then our Dozen is doubtful. We’re going to need both Zetterberg and Datsyuk against what’s coming next, and yeah I’m thinking ahead.
Malkin and Thid are on fire. On frigging fire. If Dangle doesn’t score another goal the rest of May and June we can still retain the Cup. What we need is his defense on one of those two.
With or without Datsyuk, I’m worried about tonite. Then again, I’ve been STFO for every playoff game since god invented them back in 1986. So tonite’s no different really. But to be specific, I’m concerned about those mythical “first ten minutes”. You don’t think Chicago’s going to be absolutely flying? More than any game in recent memory, the Wings are going to have to stave that team off in the early going. Advantages of course will be if the young dumb kids can spend some quality time in the box early. That would be so very nice.
We are now six games away from the Cup. Ten wins down. And Chris Osgood has had one bad game out of 12. He’s been consistently steady. Occasionally spectacular and he stole Game 2. Yep. He stole that bitch. The Wings were tired and Gary’s refs were shafting us again. Osgood shut the door, then he did it again and again. But there’s this.
As good as he was on Tuesday, he’ll need to be even better tonite. Especially if Dangle’s out.
I think he will be. And despite some claims from some muck-raking idiots, he’s in serious Conn Smythe contention. Is Chris Osgood “elite”? I have no idea because I’d bet most smart people would consider the term “elite” to be fairly subjective. I know this, though. The motherfu**er wins when it counts. He. Just. Wins.
If somebody wants to continually jab at Osgood’s career and use the Hall of Fame as some sort of carrot to tease Wing fans with? Let him. The guy may blog on the same site I do, but I have no allegiance to that kind of idiocy. He’s preying on the fact that you’re stressed out. That’s what happens when your team is this deep. Let him run his BS over and over and over. The guy’s a tool.
Ty Conklin. An American hockey player so he’s obviously somebody Mike Babcock hates, right? Wrong. That price is wrong, bitch. Apparently, JR unwrapped his lips from a microphone long enough to issue an apology to Chris Chelios. See this?
Babcock said of Roenick’s comments, “Yeah, it bothered me, because it’s a blatant lie.’‘
As Chelios was getting ready to address the media after the morning skate, Kris Draper walked by and said, “Sing ‘O Canada’, Cheli.’‘
Chelios said Roenick phoned him to apologize.
Aww. He apologized to Chelios, eh? That’s nice. Guess what? Wrong. Roenick should be apologizing to Mike Babcock. Maybe he has, I don’t know. But if he hasn’t, he should. What a classless bitter bitch.
And Chelios? He needs to be stronger than this.
“J.R. is J.R. The NHL would be boring without J.R. Nothing to it,’’ Chelios said.
Chelios needs to say something like, “Roenick is a mouthy idiot who has no clue what goes on in this room or between me and my coach. Not only that, he’s a liar.”
If Chelios isn’t going to say that then you have to wonder what he told Roenick.
I brought Conklin up for a reason, then I get on a rant. Here’s what brought him to mind in the first place. Tuesday night, pre-game. I’ve got my daughter and nephew on the glass watching warmups. My daughter’s 7. And she’s now a Wing fan for life.
Conklin tapped on the glass, right above her nose. She looked up at him and he pointed her toward the photographer’s slot in the glass. She fights her way over there, through about ten other kids. Conklin holds his glove up to the slot and there’s a puck in it. Hands fly from everywhere trying to grab it but he pulls it away and points the blade of his stick at my daughter and says, “Her’s.” The kids back off and a little seven year old hand reaches into the glove and grabs the puck.
Awesome.
I’ve got plenty of other stories about that trip and I’ll sprinkle them in as we go further along toward 12.
Tonite is huge. Huge. A Wings win and we’re looking at a sweep and plenty of rest before Gary’s bitch of a Baby Boy. A loss and this thing gets real interesting, real fast.
Depth. It’s coming down to depth tonite because like I said, I believe Dangle’s out and may be out for a while.
And I wonder if a team wins the Cup without its Hart Trophy candidate…would that make them “elite”?
6 to 12, bitches. 6 to 12.
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Comments
That was a cool thing for Conklin to do for your daughter, Chief. Just goes to show that the Wings are all class.
Bitches.
6 to 12.
Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 05/22/09 at 02:15 PM ET
Great story about Conks! A real class guy.
(And J.R. IS an idiot! on the otherhand)
And good write-up, Chief.
ALL ABOARD!!!!
The Stress Train Is now boarding!
Give us 60 minutes, boys. SIXTY!
6 to 12
GO WINGS!!!
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/22/09 at 02:18 PM ET
and I mean an obsessed one, a pathetic one, one who may stay in bed all day tomorrow if the Wings lose tonite?
Check, check and check. I’m thinking of investing in a blood pressure monitor to better gauge the level of my playoff freakouts ... this one is above games 1 and 2 of this series but probably below Anaheim game 3.
What a terrific story about Ty Conklin.
Posted by Bella from puddle of her own vomit on 05/22/09 at 02:22 PM ET
If Marian Hossa was waiting for an opportunity to justify a new contract, this would be it.
Posted by Bio on 05/22/09 at 02:25 PM ET
If Marian Hossa was waiting for an opportunity to justify a new contract, this would be it.
Posted by Bio on 05/22/09 at 03:25 PM ET
Man. That is so on the money.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 05/22/09 at 02:28 PM ET
It’s been reported that if both teams sweep that the Finals will start on Thursday. It’s from the yahoos at 97.1, so take it with a grain of salt, but I can’t see both teams having 10 days off between the end of the conference finals and the start of the Stanley Cup Finals.
Posted by OHWingsFan40 from Oregon/Bowling Green, OH on 05/22/09 at 02:29 PM ET
i was feeling alright till i read this post..
thanks!
Posted by Pharazon from England on 05/22/09 at 02:31 PM ET
Conklin holds his glove up to the slot and there’s a puck in it. Hands fly from everywhere trying to grab it but he pulls it away and points the blade of his stick at my daughter and says, “Hers.” The kids back off and a little seven year old hand reaches into the glove and grabs the puck.
Oh sure, now the guy can make quick decisions about what to do with the puck. Where was that in June of 2006?
You guys should ease of TPSH. He’s broadly right about Osgood and coaching, which is what seems to have you all so upset. Holland has said as much about Osgood and the Wings goaltending, saying that there isn’t a ton of difference between 6 and 15 and that the Wings choose to spend their money elsewhere. What’s so hard to understand about that? The Wings have an unreal Top 6 that covers a lot.
Posted by mc79hockey on 05/22/09 at 02:32 PM ET
Nausea.
this morning I was sick as hell after 3.5 miles so I asked my father, brother and cousin if any of them get nauseous when they run. Nope. My conclusion: It’s game day bitches and we need this one.
Great story about Conklin, Chief. I bet it made your little girl’s day/week/month. That was a nice break from the rapidly growing panic and stress.
6 to 12.
Posted by Aimee in Austin on 05/22/09 at 02:35 PM ET
Detroit’s thinking may just be, “we’re up 2-0, we don’t want to make it worse if we don’t have to, so don’t go today.”
Posted by senor g on 05/22/09 at 02:39 PM ET
Ah shit…I just leaked something from one of my orifices. That’s bad.
That’s playoff time, for ya’.
If Marian Hossa was waiting for an opportunity to justify a new contract, this would be it.
No shit. If the dude floats any more this post-season the Hubble telescope might be the next thing to see him. End nerd joke.
The whole Dangle situation didn’t have me worried till MacLeod’s updated post earlier this afternoon. Now I’m right there with SYF spotting my boxer-briefs and sucking my thumb in the fetal position.
I think there are three possibilities:
1. He plays tonight. They’re just playing it close to the vest.
2. It’s broken. Our dreams are shattered.
3. It’s NOT broken, but bruised worse than Jonny Ericsson’s was. So they’re giving him this game knowing it gives him four full days off to get better, rather than rushing it.
Obviously hope for option 1, feel okay about option 3, and vomit on yourself over option 2.
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 05/22/09 at 02:39 PM ET
Awesome thing for Conkblock to do, Chief.
The only carry-over I’ll bring from the retard’s corner of the empire is that I’m proud of how the 19 has systematically dismantled him.
The thought of Datsyuk being out for the remainder of the playoffs is pure ipecac. I can’t handle that shit today.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 05/22/09 at 02:45 PM ET
I think they’ll be alright tonight. If anything, this provides a chance for some players to step up and know they have to play a 60-minute game. Even if Pav does play, the Hawks know he’s hurt and will probably try to target his lower body throughout the game, so perhaps the best course of action is to let him sit a game and see how he feels for Sunday.
Posted by OHWingsFan40 from Oregon/Bowling Green, OH on 05/22/09 at 02:49 PM ET
No shit. If the dude floats any more this post-season the Hubble telescope might be the next thing to see him.
I very seriously laughed so hard, I woke up the sleeping people in the office next door. Their boss just came over here to thank me. Then he laughed, too, being a fellow Wingnut and all.
Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 05/22/09 at 02:49 PM ET
You guys should ease of TPSH. He’s broadly right about Osgood and coaching, which is what seems to have you all so upset.
I completely disagree about him being even “broadly” right about coaching.
I DO agree that Ozzie is not yet a HOFer. He’s got a good shot at being a legit HOFer by the time he retires, but he is not there yet.
My problem with TPSH is that almost every editorial-style post he makes like that share one common trait—there’s little to no explanation to support and define his opinion. His arguments are often valid, but there’s never any evidence to support that his premises are true. He gives a lot of arguments like:
“Player X is a better player than Player Y. This is clear because Player X has five more goals than Player Y. In conclusion, without a doubt, Player Y is better.”
Why do those five goals make him a better player? Is he scoring at a higher rate per game? Better shooting percentage? Are the players demonstrably similar in other statistical categories, that would allow a judgment on only five goals to be sensible?
That’s my frustration. He did the same thing in half his points about Ozzie not being HOF-worthy. “Osgood has never been one of the best players in the game because THN’s top 50 list didn’t include him.” Well, who’s to say THN is correct? That’s a major appeal to authority. I welcome that argument, and appeal to authority, if you at least build an argument as to why Osgood hasn’t been one of the top 50 players in the game during any year in his career.
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 05/22/09 at 02:49 PM ET
i’m definitely in the camp of resting him until Chicago proves they can actually WIN, even if it is just a deep bruise. why subject him to further trauma in a game where Chicago is going to be looking to prove a point, ie. swing sticks at injured feet. for exactly the reason stated above, we need danglin’ dats next round. game 6 or 7, he plays with a shot, but let’s see if these children can actually win first.
also - while malkin and whinybitch are hot now… they don’t have Lidstrom’s stick in their lane (or should I say UP their lane). and while dats is a selke winner, we have some other decent backcheckers (Z, Hoss, Mule, Cleary, and Fil to name a few). not exactly comparable to the defensive ability of the capitals or the confederates. so, let’s not jump to the conclusion that a dangleless wings can’t beat the penguins.
Posted by perfection from LaLaLand on 05/22/09 at 02:54 PM ET
Gotta love the Conk. Hockey players are the greatest when it comes to their fans. Especially kids or future fans.
Back to business. With or without Pavs the Wings will do whatever is indicated. Whatever it takes to win.
I agree, this is Hossa’s moment. Not to take on all comers, but to fulfill his role as a Wing and prove his desire to win a Cup.
No one can replace a player like Datsyuk, but we do have the depth to make his absence easier to deal with. Uncle Mike always has a plan.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/22/09 at 02:55 PM ET
being wheeled around by Darren Helm while Bob Seger’s “Nutbush City Limits” blared in the background?
*#$%@& that. Helm would be carrying Dangle on his shoulders while Ericsson cleared tables, chairs, villagers and large, slow moving animals aside to make a path.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 05/22/09 at 02:56 PM ET
A quick note on JR - I’m guessing the Sharks have already told him he’s not in their plans for next season, so he’s campaigning for some sort of job with the Hawks, either as a player or announcer - he’s omnipresent on Chicago radio.
Can’t wait until he and Kyle Beach hit town together…
Posted by Forklift from Section 314 in the United Center on 05/22/09 at 02:57 PM ET
Detroit’s thinking may just be, “we’re up 2-0, we don’t want to make it worse if we don’t have to, so don’t go today.”
I’m with Señor G (another Brazilian?), simply because the alternative is too terrible to contemplate.
I guess it’s time to find out what Leino learned about Selke candidacy in his time down in GR. And not just Stuart, but Kronner will have to play the stay-at-home defenseman.
Class move from Conklin, a classy guy.
I dunno. I had something else, but I forgot it. I think I need another drink.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/22/09 at 03:01 PM ET
What a wonderful story about Conklin. Wow. How great for your daughter!
I am nervous about Pav not playing. While I do care that he hasn’t scored, it is his defense that has been stellar. Ugh. Curling up into fetal position.
Voox - vodka straight up please!
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 05/22/09 at 03:06 PM ET
Let’s keep a few things in mind before we all panic:
A. If the two conference finals are not sweeps, the SCF start 8 days later.
B. Crosby and Malkin are playing insanely well (and covering for suspect goal-tending).
C. It is in the Wings best interests to have both a healthy Datsyuk/Hossa and Zetterberg/Cleary/Franzen lines since we’ve actually got to shut down the hot Crosby line and disrupt the dangerous-streaky-but-mostly-PP-scoring Malkin.
D. Time heals aches and bruises.
We obviously still want the skate to the throat tonight and in game 4. But we don’t necessarily want both series to be a sweep. Obviously, Canes, this means you need to get it together and take the Pens to 7.
Posted by shanetx on 05/22/09 at 03:09 PM ET
mc79hockey: I think folks will ease up off of TPSH when he gets that cranial-rectal inversion the doctor keeps recommending him to get. He’s sniping with Wings fans now because they’re giving him the hits he desires and we’re too proud/psychotic to let things die without taking another whiz on the corpse.
As for Datsyuk, unlike that Dr. Rahmani, I trust my eyes to the Chief on this one and I know that even in a crazed atmosphere like there was in Detroit for Game 2, I know damn well that when Pavel blocks a shot with his foot and heads for the bench, Chief is going to be watching him like a hawk.
If the Villain has to get the call tonight it’s strictly based on offensive need. Maltby returning to the lineup allows defensive responsibility to stick with the other lines and The Villain getting the call means that there’s another Dangler coming to make something happen.
What the hell is “dangle” in Finnish anyhow? Someone get on that because that is happening.
Posted by HockeyJoe from Upstate New York on 05/22/09 at 03:11 PM ET
I know this is getting way ahead of ourselves, but did anyone catch this:
Breaking News: Potential Stanley Cup Final start dates Friday, 05.22.2009 / 11:50 AM / 2009 Playoffs Conference Finals NHL.comNEW YORK – The National Hockey League announced today the possible start dates for the 2009 Stanley Cup Final.
If both Conference Final series have been decided by Tuesday, May 26, the Western Conference winner would host Game 1 of the 2009 Stanley Cup Final on Thursday, May 28. Otherwise, Game 1 will be played on Friday, June 5.
Dates, start times and broadcast information will be released when available.
What?!! 8 days between possible Game 1 start date?
Thanks. Gary. Ass.
GO WINGS!!!
6 to 12
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/22/09 at 03:12 PM ET
I am obsessed. I felt good until I opened up A2Y. Thanks Chief. Now I’m stressed. I guess it is time to go home and start drinking. Cheers. 6 to 12.
Posted by Jeff from Loveland, CO on 05/22/09 at 03:14 PM ET
What the hell is “dangle” in Finnish anyhow? Someone get on that because that is happening.
Dangle in Finnish = riippukaa
Good luck trying to pronounce it, haha.
Posted by OHWingsFan40 from Oregon/Bowling Green, OH on 05/22/09 at 03:16 PM ET
From my post yesterday, heard during the Pens/‘Canes game:
Daryl Reaugh’s advice to Detroit:
“Don’t take the boot of the neck when you’ve got them down.”
Kind’a sounds familiar ...
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/22/09 at 03:25 PM ET
He did the same thing in half his points about Ozzie not being HOF-worthy. “Osgood has never been one of the best players in the game because THN’s top 50 list didn’t include him.” Well, who’s to say THN is correct? That’s a major appeal to authority.
Jesus, Nathan, someone retained A LOT from logic and reasoning class.
TPSH is a *#$%@& moron. End of story.
Posted by John from Pittsburgh, PA (Wings fan for life!) on 05/22/09 at 03:41 PM ET
A question, fellow 19:
What should I drink tonight?
Scotch? Rum? Vodka? Tequila? Gin?
I have all of those in the freezer. However, I’m just not sure what I feel like.
Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 05/22/09 at 03:43 PM ET
Just FYI Chief, if both series sweep, the Finals start May 28th, if not it’s the 5th of June.
Posted by Steve from New Jersey on 05/22/09 at 03:50 PM ET
A question, fellow 19:
What should I drink tonight?
Scotch? Rum? Vodka? Tequila? Gin?I have all of those in the freezer. However, I’m just not sure what I feel like.
Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 05/22/09 at 04:43 PM ET
Yes.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/22/09 at 04:11 PM ET
A question, fellow 19:
What should I drink tonight?
Scotch? Rum? Vodka? Tequila? Gin?
I have all of those in the freezer. However, I’m just not sure what I feel like.
Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 05/22/09 at 04:43 PM ET
Yes.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 05/22/09 at 05:11 PM ET
Kate
maybe you might want to pick one,i’m sure you don’t want to be seeing 3 Khabbys by 3rd period lol
Posted by Speedy Sammich from DTown on 05/22/09 at 04:19 PM ET
“Nothing (Datsyuk) has done today would give us any indication,” said Babcock.
...the FUC[K]!?!
Posted by O-Joe on 05/22/09 at 04:56 PM ET
If Marian Hossa was waiting for an opportunity to justify a new contract, this would be it.
No shit. If the dude floats any more this post-season the Hubble telescope might be the next thing to see him. End nerd joke.
JJ = +1 friggin hilarious
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 05/22/09 at 05:35 PM ET
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It is a fact that teams play Datsyuk differently than Filppula but here’s the other side to that stress factor: we could be seeing Filppula’s breakout game of the playoff year.
Ah shit…I just leaked something from one of my orifices. That’s bad.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 05/22/09 at 02:09 PM ET