Abel to Yzerman
Next entry: Call The Optometrist: More Wing Groin Issues
Previous entry: SRO At The Joe? McCarty To Play Friday
We Have Issues
by IwoCPO on 03/27/08 at 09:52 AM ET
Comments (29)
Buckets, Homer, Hasek. Dater, Roy, Samuelsson. All that plus Bitter Blues fans.
So, yes, we have issues to discuss.
In no particular order, a few thoughts have been running through my mind the last few days. I think you need to be made aware what they are. These don’t require action on your part, just your full agreement.
W2J2 brought up a good point this morning. We all know Mikael Samuelsson’s shot is about as accurate as a Memphis free throw. But is there any better evidence of that than the fact Dan Cleary’s eaten nothing but baby food the last two months? A slap shot from the slot, or just beyond, that hits a fellow forward square in the jaw...while he’s standing up. Cleary’s 6’1”. He probably saved a life in the crowd by taking one in the face. Kate’s right. He’s the new Enigma. If you had to choose, right now, between Hudler and Samuelsson who would it be? Who plays and who sits next to Ted Kulfan while he receives a pedicure in the press box?
Keep in mind why Uncle Mike’s enamored with Enigma II. Potential. A2Y Legal Counsel, Okie Jeff, commented earlier…
“73 g/p, 11g, 29 a, 40 pts, +21
Hard to sit a guy who averages over .5 pts night, and is a +21 player.”
And that’s the dilemma. Samuelsson’s potential to get hot for ten games, or his consistent ability to make me want to line the shots of cheap tequila up in front of me every time he takes a shift.
Charlie Buckets. That rambunctious bastard played 17 minutes Tuesday, led the team with 5 hits, was a force in the corners and looked like he hasn’t missed a step. Take that concern off your list of items to stress about.
Speaking of the Train, seats are still available. And, in case you weren’t aware, it’s free. I bring up the Stress Train in the midst of a four-game winning streak and relative good health because the Anti-Digger wrote a piece this morning that further separates him from the John Hahn Army of Deep Diggers. What kind of fan are you?
The pessimist and the optimist have this in common—they are both fans of the Detroit Red Wings. But there are two distinct sides to Hockeytown and these two gents live on opposite sides of the tracks.
The optimist can’t wait for the playoffs to begin in two weeks. Glory awaits. The pessimist wants more time for their team to prepare. There are so many ways to fail.
Me? I fluctuate between the two...and you know that. Right now? I’d say I’m optimistic. And if Homer comes back, I honestly don’t see a team that can beat us. Franzen’s performance has suddenly given the Wings an additional threat that can’t be ignored. Both power play units, when Homer’s back, will be dangerous. Every line has grit, scoring and defense. I really believe Holmstrom is the key, just like he was against Anaheim last year.
And so the pessimist in me looks at his injury and gets real worried, real fast. Can the Wings win without him? Yes, but they are remarkably better with him in the lineup because scoring is so much more equally distributed. With both PP units as lethal as they will be with Homer and Cleary both healthy and Franzen’s new-found scoring touch, there is no deeper offensive team in the league and a Duck (or Shark) penalty would mean nothing but good things for all of our families.
Speaking of pessimism. Uncle Mike says he’d like to play Hasek most of the remaining five regular season games. That’s nice. Of course the fact that he’s on anti-biotics to combat the flu? Yeah, that might affect something. How many of you think we won’t see any of Chris Osgood this postseason? What are the chances of that? I’m not talking about abilities or composure or insanity. Hasek’s got all those. But I just don’t think he’s going to make it through the entire tournament healthy. I’ll bet Osgood gets at least two starts.
So Patrick Roy ordered his kid to wobble down the ice, engage the opposing goalie, pummel him while he turtled. Johnny Roy then flips off the crowd and exits. Patty and little Johnny both get suspended. Uproar, a furor. Shocked disbelief. Horrible parent. Disruptive coach. An asswipe of a family. Whatever. It’s junior hockey. I don’t care what either Roy does. Patrick’s a buffoon, a sideshow. He was a piece of trash teammate and the one thing he did, other than win a whole lot of hockey games, of redeeming value was slide the puck down to Vernon after his 300th win---on March 26th, 1997.
Here’s why we mention him today though. Denver’s either going to (a) miss the playoffs--not likely, or (b) get knocked out in the first round--highly, pleasurably likely. When either happens, Joel Quenneville’s gone. You know where I’m going with this. That organ-I-zation is just classless enough that they’d hire Roy, and I believe they will. Next season.
Please...make that happen. Can you imagine Uncle Mike and Brittle Patty with only ten feet and a panel of fiberglass between them? You thought it was fun watching that asswipe get pulled during his last conference final game? Imagine the fun of watching him burn from behind the bench.
Don’t lose that train of thought because we’re not done with the Dive. The sobbing apologist took on Dion Phaneuf the other day. Called him a punk. Dater was taken to task by readers so he changed his blog post, toned it down, backed away from his comments. Claimed it was his blog, his right to do so. Whatever.
Today, he posted some four month old YouTube deal, video of Phaneuf singing at a karaoke bar. Again, have at it. Whatever gets you going Adrienne. The funny part? He’s being BLASTED by the readers, Dive fans and all others. Funny stuff.
Admit it you love him. You can be honest. Going into the most important game of the season for the Aves and your in your cubicle fixated on the Dion. Hands on the table Adam.
Comment by Robbob — March 26, 2008 @ 2:53 pm
Don’t really get the “adam” thing, but funny nonetheless.
Speaking of punks, and I mean bitter little whining men who fit the street definition of “bitches”, let’s move on to Blues fans. No team has been owned by the Wings over the years like St. Louis. Regular season, postseason, off season...any time of year. Lots of big talk at the Blues blogs and message boards claiming St. Louis is going to exact revenge on Aaron Downey tomorrow night. I’m sure he’s shaking. I hope he turns down every fight and laughs at them as he skates by their bench of goons and has-beens. Let the Blues fans continue to whine as their season ends, again, before the playoffs start.
Watching the Wings beat Colorado is fun because of the rivalry that used to be. Watching the Wings beat the Bitter Blues is comforting because it’s normal, expected and symbolic of the way things should be in life. Stay Bitter St. Louis.
Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
Comments
Babcock will take Sammy. Veteran, more points. That’s the Detroit way.
Homer’s done for this year, I worry. The pattern of reports is alarming now. My abdomen tells me this is a long term hernia injury. It’s a concern, but not the end of the world.
MacLeod says Howard is back in GR, so Hasek must be feeling better.
Posted by TDeters on 03/27/08 at 09:30 AM ET
Agree with all, Fearless Leader. Especially the Detroit Red Wings Fan Dichotomy.
Being a fan of this team for the past fifteen years is how I imagine (thankfully, only ever had to imagine, not experience) being bipolar feels. What a ride.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from The Patrick Roy Bail Money Telethon on 03/27/08 at 09:31 AM ET
Almost forgot. I’m leaving more and more hair on my pillow every morning and I’m thinking of taking up smoking again over Homer’s abdomen, so who wants to join in with me in a rousing gospel chorus of “The Good Ole Hockey Game?” Right after we sacrifice a moose for Homer’s healthy speedy return and offer appeasement prayers to Sharkus, the Malign and Foul God of Second-Round Playoff Exits.
Half-empty? Half-full? I don’t even see the freaking glass.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from the bar, surrounded by empty pints on 03/27/08 at 09:46 AM ET
I just don’t see why Ozzie isn’t a starter for the postseason. Hasek’s great when healthy, but he’s not 100%. I would platoon the two. Too often have I seen us ditch a perfectly good goalie in the postseason just because of a cold game or two.
Posted by Hippy Dave from San Francisco by way of Detroit on 03/27/08 at 10:42 AM ET
Both power play units, when Homer’s back, will be dangerous.
If, er, I mean, when Homer makes it back, it’s not just the PP that will be dangerous. He’s going to be one ornery son of a bitch by the time he gets on the ice again. If goalies hate him now, wait till they get a dose of a P.O.ed Homer with all of that pent-up frustration and hostility.
I love the line from Bruce’s blog the other day about Homer leaving the ice early and Babs saying something like: “He was pretty sour about it.” I wonder how many sticks in the tunnel survived his trip back to the locker room?
As for the Hudler vs. Sammy debate, it depends on where Babs would choose to play them. If it’s Sammy or Hudler on the fourth line.I’d take Sammy. If it’s either of them on the second line, I’d take Happy...if only for the safety of our own top-line players. 
Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 03/27/08 at 10:43 AM ET
http://redwingscorner.blogspot.com/2008/03/thursdays-practice.html
It appears The Enigma II is missing from practice or at least not on the line combos.
Aint that a breath of fresh air. Those lines looks pretty amusing. But sit Sammy for Hartigan?
Posted by Solo16 on 03/27/08 at 10:50 AM ET
Sammy or Huds? Howabout neither. The midget cant compete in the grind. Sammy doesn’t add anything except delusions of grandeur. Gimme Meech and Hartigan up front for hardwork and solid 2-way.
Cleary is golden. Any line, he’ll be worth the minutes. But damnit, I think Homer is done for the year. Gonna need Franzen to continue to fill in. Between Buckets(keep that jaw protected) and Mule in front of the net, hopefully they can make up for Homer’s skill.
Patty Wah, dirtball runs in that family. Lotta balls from the other goalie to just stand there with Wah the Yonger barreling down on him. I hope Dive dont go and reward that crap by hiring him.
F*ck St. Louis?
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 03/27/08 at 11:39 AM ET
As far as issues go I have only one. Hasek. He still does not look ready to me. I have never been a fan of his but as a Wing I will support him because he is a part of the team, and a big part at that. The last line of defense so to speak. I have much more confidence in Ozzie to carry the load mainly because the guys play with more confidence in front of him and he doesn’t constantly lose his stick or flop around like a fish out of water. He has worked hard this season and has improved his style of play all around. Up and above that, you earn your spot on the roster and Chris Osgood is someone that has certainly paid his dues and proven he is a #1. I’m sure that many out there will not agree with me but that is their right. Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 03/27/08 at 12:20 PM ET
What a pain in the groin!! KHAN! says Slammin Sammy has pulled his, and has the rest of the Infirmary Ward Report:
Update from Thursday’s practice: Dominik Hasek was not around, still bothered by the flu, and won’t play Friday against St. Louis. Chris Osgood will start, and Jimmy Howard was recalled from Grand Rapids.
Tomas Holmstrom (strained abdominal muscles) skated for about a half-hour before practice but was scheduled to have more tests later in the afternoon. He had a second set of tests (MRI, ultrasound) on Wednesday. Coach Mike Babcock said he didn’t know the results but that everything looked positive.
Mikael Samuelsson left practice early with a groin problem that’s been bothering him for a week or so and Babcock listed him as questionable. Valtteri Filppula (sore knee, groin) said he’s ready to play. Dallas Drake (bruised sternum) said he’s ready to play, too, but Babcock wasn’t sure about Drake.
Brad Stuart (broken finger) is back from San Jose and will start practicing Friday. He said he’s optimistic he’ll be ready for the start of the playoffs. Babcock said Darren McCarty will play Friday, replacing Aaron Downey in the lineup.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Netherworld on 03/27/08 at 12:54 PM ET
I want Samuelsson out. I’m sure he’s a wonderful teammate and a fine human being, but he couldn’t put a puck in the ocean if he was on a kayak.
And I’m an optimist. I get enough stress dealing with the job performance of men I actually know - I refuse to get stressed out over the job performance of men I’ve never met.
That is the regular season, though - during the playoffs I get queasy and snappish, but that isn’t for another week and a bit, so right now I’m fine. 
I didn’t see the video of Roy’s kid- did Pat really tell him to?
It looked a bit like it. Roy the elder seemed to gesture toward the other goaltender as though he was egging on his son. The other goalie certainly wasn’t expecting to have his mask ripped off and be punched. Seemed like he was watching the otehr brawls going on and waiting for the officials to separate the teams, sort out penalties, and restart the game.
It would certainly fit with his temper, since he couldn’t just hop on the ice and beat up the kid himself.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/27/08 at 01:54 PM ET
Hmm, Coach Q out, Saint Patrick in next season?
I’ll take that bet. Bill, if you’re down, let’s put some money on this one. I’ll bet you a whole five dollars that Patrick Roy is not the head coach of the Avalanche next season.
Deal?
And yeah, I know five dollars is pathetic, but I had a ton of stock in Bear Sterns and my portfolio’s looking a little weak these days.
Posted by Joe @ MHH on 03/27/08 at 03:44 PM ET
No team has been owned by the Wings over the years like St. Louis. Regular season, postseason, off season...any time of year.
You may want to re-check your regular season stats, Mr. Know-it-all. I think the Blues lead the regular season series by a few wins.
I hope [Downey] turns down every fight and laughs at them as he skates by their bench of goons and has-beens.
When it gets rough in the playoffs and the refs swallow their whistles, you’re going to wish Downey had some testicles. Enjoy the President’s Cup, because that’s the only cup you’ll see in Detroit this season without a guy to protect Zetterturd and Datsuck.
Speaking of “has-beens” have you watched Chelios play lately? Quit throwing stones, glass house dweller. He’s a shell of his former Blackhawk self. Keep him away from the President’s Cup because any attempt at lifting it may shatter his hip. At least Tkasuck still hits people.
/Bring on the “regular season doesn’t matter” and “look at our shiny cups” blasts
//At least we don’t burn down the city with every championship ring
///Hockeytown
Posted by Milo on 03/27/08 at 04:27 PM ET
So bitter
Posted by pilgrim on 03/27/08 at 06:55 PM ET
Just how many championship rings have the Blues brought home Milo? Seems to me you have been spending to much time at the Dirt Cheap Liquor Store. Remember, “The more you drink the better the Blues look.”
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 03/27/08 at 07:28 PM ET
Milo,
That doesn’t even make sense. At least make fun of our bad players, but Chelios? Yes he’s old, but he’s still effective and hardly ever gets hurt. Sorry, no broken hips there.
Legace, however, seems to be injured twice every game.
Posted by moore00 from the Ohio State University on 03/27/08 at 07:57 PM ET
Ya know, I’m a die-hard Blues fans, and I hate the Wings as is required by law. But I don’t take it out on Wings fans. They’re just rooting for their team like I’m rooting for mine.
I find your shots at our (and anyone else’s fans) really classless.
Posted by BluesFan44 on 03/27/08 at 08:46 PM ET
I find your shots at our (and anyone else’s fans) really classless.
Noted. I’ll give serious thought to mending my ways. Real soon.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 03/28/08 at 03:30 AM ET
I think the Blues lead the regular season series by a few wins.
BZZZT! I’m sorry, that’s the incorrect answer! The correct answer is: “Wings, 4-3.” And you know what that means. You’ve lost on “Rational Debate!” But you don’t go away empty-handed. We’re giving you our consolation prize, a year’s supply of salted pork! Try to keep your team captain’s hands off of it-- I kid, of course, that’s far too healthy for him. You’ve been a great competitor, though. I’m Biff Dingwell, and I have just one question for you: How would you know anything about the playoffs as your team hasn’t been in them for three years?
Thanks, you’re a great audience! And remember ladies and gentlemen, denigrating a fanbase because of the poverty of its home city isn’t big and isn’t clever! Rembember to spay or neuter your puck bunnies. Good night!
*THEME MUSIC*
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from behind hot studio lights sweating like Tkachuk on 03/28/08 at 05:01 AM ET
Milo does have a point. St. Louis has done well against Detroit in regular seasons of late.
In the Wings’ defense, however, it should be noted that it’s mighty hard to skate, stick-handle, shoot and stop pucks when you’re falling down laughing at the Bad News Blues.
Posted by O-Joe from aboard the USS Getonmynuts on 03/28/08 at 05:31 AM ET
Maybe he meant the complete history of regular season records? I wouldn’t be surprised to see St. Louis lead the historic series at all. They had some very, very good regular seasons and made the playoffs for a long time - their bad seasons are relatively recent.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/28/08 at 05:31 AM ET
Baroque says: Maybe he meant the complete history of regular season records?
On the nose.
O-Joe says: it’s mighty hard to skate, stick-handle, shoot and stop pucks when you’re falling down laughing at the Bad News Blues.
Bad News Blues for a few seasons only. Before that , we had 25 straight years in the playoffs. Everybody needs to rebuild periodically. Just look downtown around the Joe (or anywhere for that matter). Yeah, I know someone said this is unfair. Keep your sidearm holstered now & on the way to the game tonight.
Andrew says: BZZZT! I’m sorry, that’s the incorrect answer! The correct answer is: “Wings, 4-3.”
As noted above, the all-time series is led by the Blues. If the Blues suck so much, why don’t the Dead Wings lead this season’s series 7-0?
moore00 says: Yes [Chelios is] old, but he’s still effective and hardly ever gets hurt. Sorry, no broken hips there.
Legace, however, seems to be injured twice every game.
I used to hate enjoying Chelios’ play. He was a great competitor and was enough of an instigator and checker that no matter how bad you wanted to make his face meet the back of his skull, you had to respect him for doing a great job being a premier defender. Watching him Tuesday night from the rafters of the Drinkscotch center, I felt sorry for him. He still moves with the music, but just doesn’t have it anymore. His ice time is severely limited, too.
As for the blast on Legace, at least he’s not afraid to get in front of the puck. Chelios seemed to spend most of his game avoiding any human interaction and the puck. Sad.
Kate says: Just how many championship rings have the Blues brought home Milo? Seems to me you have been spending to much time at the Dirt Cheap Liquor Store. Remember, “The more you drink the better the Blues look.”
Au contraire, mon ami. You will note in my original post that I anticipated this blast. The answer is NONE. A forty-one year drought is not the end of the world. Prior to 1996-97 your beloved Red Wings suffered the same fate (have you forgotten this fun fact?) I would actually cut the Blues a break because they were an expansion team at the beginning of their cup drought; your Wings were just coming off a cup win!
I have no delusions about the Blues; they are painful to watch on most nights, yet I do so with sober eyes and a difficult dose of reality. Admit it, you want to party with Fred and the Dirt Cheap Chicken.
Humbly submitted for your disapproval,
Milo
/I wear a Tiger road cap to Card-Tiger interleague games, so I can’t be all bad.
//Enjoy tonight’s season series tying game.
Posted by Milo on 03/28/08 at 03:26 PM ET
A forty-one year drought is not the end of the world.
Toronto begs to differ with you.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/28/08 at 03:30 PM ET
Posted by Baroque:
A forty-one year drought is not the end of the world.Toronto begs to differ with you.
Probably the difference between original six and other six. I agree with you that after all is said and done, it’s Toronto.
Posted by milo on 03/28/08 at 03:40 PM ET
Kate:
Would have posted Fred and Chicken earlier, but click on my name below for a picture. Party on!
/Cheap, cheap. Fun, fun.
Posted by Milo on 03/28/08 at 03:58 PM ET
Mr Milo, this is just good natured ribbing from one die hard fan to another. No malicious intent what so ever. I have loved those commercials ever since I saw the first one. Thanks for the photo.
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 03/28/08 at 04:43 PM ET
“No malicious intent what so ever.”
Kate:
None taken & none given.
Milo
Posted by Milo on 03/28/08 at 04:59 PM ET
Bad News Blues for a few seasons only. Before that, we had 25 straight years in the playoffs.
That sounds banner-worthy. Maybe Roger can fly one up to the rafters of Scottrade in his helicopter.
And speaking of Roger, if I was him, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want that guy wearing a Blues’ jersey appearing in my television commercial anymore. CEO’s typically like to associate their company with winners.
Posted by O-Joe on 03/28/08 at 06:38 PM ET
Scoreboard!
Posted by BluesFan44 on 03/28/08 at 09:36 PM ET
Add a Comment
Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.
Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.
Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.
Most Recent Blog Posts
73 Men Sailed Up For This Live Blog and It Was 19 Who Led Them
Bartender, Statesman, Instigator…Voox
If The Sun Refused To Shine…We’d Live Blog
Jimmy D: “We’d Be Happy With A Top Ten Pick”
Swine Flu Or Not? The Levee’s Gonna Break And We’re Gonna Live Blog It
About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome:
A2Y Stuff
-----------------------------
Wanna Feel Smart?
Does confusion make you sad? When you read words like "enigma" and phrases like "Thanks Gary. Ass", do you wonder why mean people speak in languages you don't understand? Fret no longer friend! The A2Y Glossary will bring you great joy and enlightenment.
-----------------------------
How Others View The A2Y 19
"Hell, I guarantee the content co-opters at Abel to Yzerman were about to link this article under the heading “Bitter Blues Fans” again right up until they just read that last half-sentance. Thanks but no thanks, you Kukla hangers-on."
--St. Louis Game Time
"I realize it’s the slow summer season, but can this guy tone down the tough-guy histrionics? His posts are fatiguing on an otherwise excellent site."
--A2Y Fan, Eternal_Fields
"I constantly marvel at how Bill (IwoCPO) and his disciples at Abel To Yzerman can be so pompous and full of themselves throughout every regular season, but come playoff time they collapse into wavering puddles of stress and nervousness as they anxiously await the impending and unavoidable collapse of the Red Wings in the post-season."
--Mile High Hockey
"I hate them because they are better than us. Of all the frigging teams…"
--In The Cheap Seats
"It's just a shame that the most classless, uneducated, lowbrow fanbase in the league gets this sweep. Red Wing fans don't deserve their team."
--Thhom
"I really don’t care what fans or bloggers think."
--Drew Sharp
"Why is it you Detroit fans are still so classless when you have such a classy hockey team, with such a professional GM and gentlemen players? I understand that the author of this blog is a manner-less cad, but the rest of you should be better."
--A2Y Fan, Jeff Beaumont
"Have you ever *read* A2Y? Its the most opinionated, juvenile stuff i've read."
--Paul Nicholson
"I actually like the Detroit team and have a sh&% load of respect for them, but their fans are the biggest douches next to Canadians."
--KStewy, PensBlog Commenter
"Just when it looks like we have bottomed out, the 19 hit a new low."
-A2Y legend, Hockeytown Todd
"And for the record, I don't hate the Red Wings, I hate their fans."
--Douche Bag at Puck Daddy who isn't Wyshynski
"You’re nothing but a douchebag ****, c3po. Go f**k yourself, and learn something about hockey in the process. Nothing ruins my day more than seeing your byline on the kk page."
--Hector, A2Y fan, statesman, Pittsburgh Chapter of Jonas Brothers Fan Club President
"I can just imagine the kindergarten teacher’s reaction when the tyke blurts out 'Mommy says Gary Bettman is a f*cking f*ckface! He wants to give ‘Rosby the bad touch.' ”
--Bella, of the 19
Head to Hockeytown
Blogs the Chief Likes
I would take Hudler, because even if he doesn’t do anything productive, there’s a good chance he’ll try to tackle someone twice as big as him on the other team, and that’s funny. At least Hudler doesn’t knock out the jaws of his teammates.
I didn’t see the video of Roy’s kid- did Pat really tell him to?
Posted by scheisskopf on 03/27/08 at 09:12 AM ET