Abel to Yzerman
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What Is It About The Finals That Make Smart People Turn So Very Stupid?
by IwoCPO on 05/29/09 at 03:56 PM ET
Comments (36)
Smartest thing I’ve ever posted on Twitter? This: “iwocpo: @Pensblog did you just recommend we follow @eklund ? Hey Dwayne, if you’re reading this...suck it.”
Just read this over on the Empire’s Home Page and figured it would be as good a place as any to start this biotch.
If you stuck Osgood on the Penguins, they probably don’t get out of the first round.
That’s from Seth Rorabaugh and I have no idea what well of idiocy he fell into. That’s just asinine.
It’s not just him, of course. That kind of lazy ineptitude goes far beyond the homer bloggers and has even seeped into the empire here. The Puck Stops Here has been banging those bongos for weeks now. At least in Rorabaugh’s case he’s probably referring to Fleury’s performance in Round 1 rather than a total slam against Osgood. But just flatly saying that shows he’s being affected by the Finals like the rest of...us.
Yep. All of us. And it’s understandable. Tensions are at their peak and next thing you know things are being said that wouldn’t even be considered back in October.
The waves turned the minutes to hours this morning as I argued aimlessly with The Penguins Blog commenters. Neither one of us budging. What a waste of time. Do they really think they’re going to convince me that the Pens will win in 5? Did I actually think my vocabularical gifts would sway them into believing Gary’s got it in for us?
Idiotic. Both parties. All parties. Nothing matters until the puck drops and nothing we have to say is going to make a dime’s worth of difference (Art Garfunkel bitches).
But...wait. I almost forgot. 10am tomorrow. Okie Jeff, A2Y counsel, has reviewed all necessary paperwork. We are ready to fire.
Answer me this...The blogs you read, the writers you’ve followed for years. How well do you know them? And what are their motivations? Consider that.
Confused? Good. Clarity tomorrow.
Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
Comments
Chief, if you turn out to be Claude Lemeiux, I’m going to be really pissed.
Posted by Chris Pronger Rosetta Stone from Verizon Center Section 404 on 05/29/09 at 04:03 PM ET
Dammit!
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 05/29/09 at 03:04 PM ET
Confused? Good. Clarity tomorrow.
Yep. Confused as shit.
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 05/29/09 at 03:13 PM ET
He sent a *#$%@&’ shill from the USN to hang out with me! The BASTARD!
Well, joke’s on you, because that short shmoe with the bad skin that I sent to meet you wasn’t me at all-- I’m actually Mike Ricci! How ya doin’, buddy?
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 03:14 PM ET
Ask me about my flowing locks. Go on, ask me.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 03:14 PM ET
Anyone else think this “no sale of octopus to Michiganders” thing in Pittsburgh that Suck Daddy is peddling is only setting up a truly epic display of civil disobedience when some Wing Nut throws an octopus on the ice? I can’t wait. The harder they try to stop it, the funnier it will be when it happens. I’d go deep cover, too, if I were tossing one in Pitt. I’d wear a white “Doug Brown” or “Larry Murphy” jersey from their Pittsburgh days, pass through security undetected and let her fly when Hossa silences the crowd. Well, most of the crowd.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 05/29/09 at 03:17 PM ET
Love the dig at Eklund (e5).
Chief, you’re killing me with that big revelation “thing.”
Oh shit...one of my orifices is already leaking.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 05/29/09 at 03:18 PM ET
Seriously though, I’m so looking forward to what’s coming tomorrow that I haven’t even tried to find out what the hell’s going on. Though I won’t be able to see it until I get home (unless I gank my wife’s iPhone and see if I can pull up A2Y on it)-- I’ll be photographing monkeys. Seriously. I’ll try to find Malkin’s parents, but if they start flinging crap at my Wings shirt, I’m outta there.
I’ll have to go and lift weights to get pumped up for the big announcement. Goddamn I feel alive.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 03:20 PM ET
Oh shit...one of my orifices is already leaking.
Only one? You lucky bastard.
Posted by monkey from Waiting for the lambs to stop screaming on 05/29/09 at 03:23 PM ET
Only one? You lucky bastard.
Posted by monkey from Shredding on 05/29/09 at 04:23 PM ET
Gimme less than 20 hours and I’m full out leakage.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 05/29/09 at 03:24 PM ET
I’ve never been so excited for 10am on a Saturday morning before. I’m blaming the stress.
Posted by clemshady from Greenwood, SC on 05/29/09 at 03:26 PM ET
I’d go deep cover, too, if I were tossing one in Pitt.
Damn good idea about the Murph or Brown jersey, Sully. I had a thought about putting on my passable Belfast accent and buying three dozen molluscs- and maybe singing The Blarney Stone- and distributing them surreptitiously to Wings fans. But I’d have to fly over first, and...y’know. Logistics n’shit.
What about those flowing locks?
Oh, they’re gorgeous. See for yourself:
I’m pretty sure that’s Mike Ricci. Might actually be Sidney Crosby, now that I think about it.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 03:27 PM ET
Oh, they’re gorgeous. See for yourself:
I’m looking, but not at any flowing locks…
Posted by Incognetis from Exile in Alabama on 05/29/09 at 03:29 PM ET
Confusion is frustrating. The uncertainty, knowing you don’t know what is afoot, yet feeling it’s important. Feel that little tickle at the back of your mind, telling you that you may’ve missed something?
Yeah. It sucks…
... but not as bad as the revelation is going to. Maybe not for the 19. We’ll weather the storm, safe in the knowledge that we’re safe in our cocoons of alcohol, anxiety and (Hey, at least in my case) amphetamines. These things will protect us, as they always have, from the soul-crushing predations of the wicked.
But there is going to be some gnashing of teeth and rending of garments somewhere, among certain populaces of lesser fortitude and foresight. ... but that whole might just be standard modus operandi for the guilty.
The rending of garments and gnashing of teeth part, anyway.
And I’ll cease my prognostication now.
See you all tomorrow.
Posted by shanetx on 05/29/09 at 03:30 PM ET
What’s the ice temperature in that photo, Andrew? Looks cold at the rink…
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 05/29/09 at 03:32 PM ET
What about those flowing locks?
Posted by Modnar from Cincinnati, OH on 05/29/09 at 04:18 PM ET
The Enigma’s was a thing of beauty. It shamed Ron Duguay Hair into a quivering mass of blather.
But no one tops:
for sheer utter Awesomeness.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 05/29/09 at 03:33 PM ET
I’ll try to find Malkin’s parents, but if they start flinging crap at my Wings shirt, I’m outta there.
That’s some funny ish right there.
Can’t wait for tomorrow, Chief. It’s going to be epic. Woooooo.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Earth. on 05/29/09 at 03:39 PM ET
No LB for me tomorrow. My boss is throwing a client appreciation barbecue and I have to work. Of course “working” this barbecue involves drinking as much as I want and eating BBQ. As long as I don’t make an ass of myself, I’m good to go. Just sucks having to DVR game 1 and catch up later.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 05/29/09 at 03:43 PM ET
(unless I gank my wife’s iPhone and see if I can pull up A2Y on it)
It does work but be prepared for a LOT of scrolling. I wish there was mobile version of A2Y. I may have to start donating a lot more.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 05/29/09 at 03:45 PM ET
I’ve never been so excited for 10am on a Saturday morning before.
I’m usually not even done throwng up by then.
Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/29/09 at 03:49 PM ET
Oh gawd, I’d repressed memories of Jagr’s mullet. Him and Marty McSorley...rockin’ the bizness-in-the-front-party-in-the-back look. Now I wanna go listen to some Ratt and Dokken.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 03:49 PM ET
No LB for me either JJ, I have a Derby game and after party to attend. We’ll be tivoing it but I may hijack the other ref’s iPhone and check for updates. But it’ll be kind of tough.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 05/29/09 at 03:52 PM ET
Geez, my daughter’s 13th Birthday party is tomorrow. So I’ll be watching the game on delay once again.
GO WINGS!
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 05/29/09 at 03:52 PM ET
Let them keep doubting Osgood. Hell, I was doing it up until Rd1 Gm1. I think he thrives on that shit.
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago, on the poop deck, not over it yet on 05/29/09 at 04:37 PM ET
At least use the whole quote, Chief.
3.) Osgood really that good? A common complaint about Chris Osgood is that he’s just the product of a good defensive system. We’ve made it and we believe it. If you stuck Osgood on the Penguins, they probably don’t get out of the first round. But he doesn’t play on the Penguins. He plays on the Red Wings. And he’s gotten them to the Stanley Cup final for the second consecutive season. Who care’s if he’s part of a system? Especially if it’s a really successful system.
Chris Osgood will never be remembered as one of the best, but he gets the job done, and thats all that matters.
Posted by Kstewy16 on 05/29/09 at 05:13 PM ET
Shit. You’re gonna tell everyone we’re owned by Halliburton, aren’t you?
Posted by Forklift from Section 314 in the United Center on 05/29/09 at 05:25 PM ET
I’ve never been so excited for 10am on a Saturday morning before.
Me either. Well, at least since Soupy Sales went off the air.
I swear if this big surprise has anything to do with 3 guys,in a pick up truck, with a 12 pack of Yuengling, at night in a field, with strange lights in the sky.........
I’m gonna go all 9 iron on somebody.
Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 05/29/09 at 05:28 PM ET
...a Derby game…
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the back of the Hasek car drinking heavily on 05/29/09 at 04:52 PM ET
The old lady wants to go tomorrow night… I told her “Surely the Metro goes by the Gardens.”
Shit. You’re gonna tell everyone we’re owned by Halliburton, aren’t you?
Who isn’t these days?
Posted by mrfluffy from Cincy on 05/29/09 at 06:06 PM ET
Chris Osgood will never be remembered as one of the best, but he gets the job done, and thats all that matters.
I’ll agree with that. He’s the right goalie for the right system. You put him in the wrong system and/or organization such as Florida or Atlanta, he’s probably not as successful. You put him in the right system, such as dallas or new jersey or even colorado, he’s probably just as successful. Personally, I really doubt that he cares where he stands historically. He’s been an integral part of an enormously successful organization, won a few championships and that is probably all that matters to him.
Posted by UMFan from Colorado on 05/29/09 at 06:24 PM ET
Helllloooooooooooooo Bitcheszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!
Man do I gotta peee. First, safe trip Osrt, like 6 hours ago. And say hello to Ravi Shankar. No kidding, my daughter txts me yesterday - “Dude, this Indian guy Ravi Shankar is awesome”. I answered, “Hells Ya, Ravi Shankar “Morning Love” is one of my faves”. She txts “YOU know Ravi Shankar? I just downloaded “Morning Love” to my iPod!”
Ain’t youthful ignorance and lack of appreciation of history beautiful? Anything before 2003 is telescoped all together.
Speaking of youthful ignorance and lack of appreciation of history (Gary.Ass), I ain’t reading any other pissant numb nuts’ blog from some other pissant team. I am already pissed abooot Gary.Ass and NHL, Inc., doing their best to set up their own love bastard child with a Stanley Cup, integrity of The Game and The Cup be damned. I do not need to try and waddle through misspellings and ignorance of some pre-zitt teen to be aware of their stupidity, nor do I even read it when some 19 quotes it here. Just skip it, my stress and BP are already barely contained.
And boy, do I gotta peee, Bitches.
Posted by RWBill from jabbing a six inch sewing needle into my eye. on 05/29/09 at 06:31 PM ET
Oh gawd, I’d repressed memories of Jagr’s mullet. Him and Marty McSorley...rockin’ the bizness-in-the-front-party-in-the-back look. Now I wanna go listen to some Ratt and Dokken.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 04:49 PM ET
You mean this masterpiece?
Great. Now, I gotta start playing my old Fastway and early Def Leppard ("On Through the Night” and “High n Dry” rule all others) records as well.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 05/29/09 at 08:16 PM ET
Geez SYF… I thought I was the only person who remembered Fastway.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 05/29/09 at 08:28 PM ET
Geez SYF… I thought I was the only person who remembered Fastway.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the back of the Hasek car drinking heavily on 05/29/09 at 09:28 PM ET
“Leave us to our own devices
We’ve got our work to do.”
Apropos for our Wings.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 05/29/09 at 08:37 PM ET
Mr fluffly - I would never ask someone to choose between watching the Wings and coming to see Derby. Crap , I’d prob skip our game to watch the Wings if people weren’t counting on me to be there. But I can’t. I will say that if you did decide to come down to the Gardens, you will have a good time. 
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 05/29/09 at 10:37 PM ET
That’s the one, SYF. One and the same. So uh...who likes Manowar, huh?
“Let us drink to the power drink to the sound
Thunder and metal are shaking the ground
Drink to your brothers who are never to fall
Were all brothers of metal here in the hall...”
RAWK!
Regarding Ozzie, he is a product of a system-- he has said as much himself, and he has also said that he prefers it: “Do you want to take a chance and go to a team that’s not very good, that’s down in the standings, is terrible defensively and get shelled for another two years? I wouldn’t think that would be an option I’d take right now. It would be interesting, but I don’t know if it would get that far.”
That’s all that we need. Somebody who fits in as an integral cog of the whole Big Red Machine, and that’s Ozzie to a T. And since he’s revamped his style, he’s started to make some of the highlight-reel saves you attribute to ‘elite’ goalies. But of course, he’s not ‘elite.’ Just steady and solid and unshakeable. Like A Rock.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/30/09 at 01:39 AM ET
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Chief, if you turn out to be Claude Lemeiux, I’m going to be really pissed.
Posted by Chris Pronger Rosetta Stone from Verizon Center Section 404 on 05/29/09 at 03:03 PM ET