Abel to Yzerman
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What…the….
by IwoCPO on 05/28/09 at 09:32 AM ET
Comments (69)
Disturbing information has been filtering in from the marauding interns all morning.
Investigations are underway.
Who are these women?
Photo removed…security reasons.
We have a suspicion and, if true, it’s going to be epic.
And what the HELL is this all about?
The son of a bitch cracked my wife in the face.
“KILL HIM, HE MUST DIE.”
He charges at me and tries to tackle me around the waste. I am 6’3” about 3 bills. I drop a people’s elbow into his neck and I gained the opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do. His “Jersey wasn’t tied down…” I pull his shirt over his head and give him about a dozen upper cuts to the face in true hockey fashion. He falls to the ground and I got on top of him and began smashing his face. I catch one of his teeth with a punch.
I am punching him in the face, Smitty starts kicking his ribs in a manner reminiscent of the Robert Deniro stomp in Goodfellas.
Then some good Samaritan Caniac starts working his legs. For a moment his whole body is covered in punches and kicks. As they pull me off the guy, I kicked his face and felt the heel of my boot catch his nose.
For the love of God…that is scary. I’m digging. We’re going to get to the bottom of this.
More to follow.
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From the Pen(i)sblog -
Here is a list of the last 19 Cup runner-ups:
* 1989 Montréal Canadiens
* 1990 Boston Bruins
* 1991 Minnesota NorthStars
* 1992 Chicago Blackhawks
* 1993 Los Angeles Kings
* 1994 Vancouver Canucks
* 1995 Detroit Red Wings
* 1996 Florida Panthers
* 1997 Philadelphia Flyers
* 1998 Washington Capitals
* 1999 Buffalo Sabres
* 2000 Dallas Stars
* 2001 New Jersey Devils
* 2002 Carolina Hurricanes
* 2003 Mighty Ducks of Anaheim
* 2004 Calgary Flames
* 2005 no cup
* 2006 Edmonton Oilers
* 2007 Ottawa Senators
* 2008 Pittsburgh PenguinsThe stat: No team has lost in the Finals twice.
They can’t figure out that the NorthStars and the Stars are the same team? Fine research work being done on that site.
Posted by JSniper on 05/28/09 at 01:04 PM ET
I guess that means that 2005 and 2008 the losers were a bunch of nobodies.
Posted by daywannawonga on 05/28/09 at 01:24 PM ET
@UMCastaway—You mean like the dbag who makes fun of cancer victims? Don’t come in on your high horse if you can’t or are unwilling to see the context of the response. Either we are going to go after this kind of stuff, or we are not.
Posted by Standard A2Y Fare on 05/28/09 at 02:34 PM ET
I mean, should I really drop a “bombed out crack house” and white flight reference? Or a 20 percent unemployment rate joke?
Posted by Standard A2Y Fare on 05/28/09 at 12:45 PM ET
I guarantee you, a-hole, that shit will NOT fly on Paul’s website. Trash talk about each other’s players, fans, and teams.
Stay the f*ck away from either city’s unfortunate unemployment situations.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 05/28/09 at 03:17 PM ET
I mean, should I really drop a “bombed out crack house” and white flight reference? Or a 20 percent unemployment rate joke?
Posted by Standard A2Y Fare on 05/28/09 at 12:45 PM ET
I guarantee you, a-hole, that shit will NOT fly on Paul’s website. Trash talk about each other’s players, fans, and teams.
Stay the f*ck away from either city’s unfortunate unemployment situations.
Relax tough guy—thats exactly my point. It would be a tired cliche to come in here spouting that nonsense—you’re talking to someone from a town that not too long ago had the same exact problems that Detroit has, when the mills closed and the steel industry collapsed. I know the internet is SRS BSNESSSSS to you, but calm down and exercise a modicum of reading comprehension.
Posted by Standard A2Y Fare on 05/28/09 at 03:45 PM ET
Dude, you are wound way too tight. Go grab a beer, some pills, something, just bring it down a notch. They said that there weren’t gonna use the unemployment joke. Fans are gonna take shots at each other. I’m sure the A2Y group will make jokes about Gary wanting the Pens in the Finals and jokes about Sid doing whatever, and I’m sure the Pens fans will make jokes about Datsyuk looking like E.T. or Franzen earning his nickname from railing his animal of choice on the farm.
Point being, we are all fans. I have no problems with the shots being fired. I’ve even laughed at some of the stuff that was sent by opposing team’s fans. But there’s no reason to get uptight about it.
Posted by Don K. Show from 80 on 05/28/09 at 05:15 PM ET
@UMCastaway—You mean like the dbag who makes fun of cancer victims? Don’t come in on your high horse if you can’t or are unwilling to see the context of the response. Either we are going to go after this kind of stuff, or we are not.
So you responded by making fun of a great player that was crippled for life.
You made fun of a guy who was crippled for life. You can’t rationalize that, troll.
Posted by UMcastaway from Florida on 05/28/09 at 07:34 PM ET
He should’ve punched the wench twice.
Posted by O-Joe on 05/28/09 at 11:10 AM ET
Like you do to your wife? Stay classy, Red Wings!
HEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hey, why doesn’t this site show up when you Google “Abel to Yzerjoke”? It’s kind of a pain to have to actually write “Abel to Yzerman”.
Posted by Sweden Rocks on 05/29/09 at 01:34 AM ET
Yea, but Mario beat Hodgkins. Unlike Vladdy who cant beat his…....FAMILY BLOG.
Ha ha! Oh, making fun of the tragically handicapped is so very jolly! What merriment we can have when we suspend basic empathy and laugh at human suffering!
Hey—you know what’d be great? Let’s find someone in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s Disease and take him on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! Oh, whatta hoot!
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 03:34 AM ET
Either we are going to go after this kind of stuff, or we are not.
Just remember WHICH blog decided to sink to that level of abjectly loathesome behavior first. ‘First—’ that’s a word you know well, isn’t it? Well, there’s another reprehensible ‘first’ for you.
Life is much more rewarding if you just avoid reading the PensBlog.
Once again, Gramps is the voice of reason.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 03:35 AM ET
@UMCastaway,@Andrew: Look you can rationalize all you want; the fact remains that when one of your fellow 19 says something over the line, it’s ok. When someone else does, it isnt. But self-righteousness is hardly a surprising quality for an A2Y reader.
And no, I don’t post “first” or any of that; you want to talk hockey, let’s talk hockey. You want to get down in the mud, let’s sling it. You make the call.
Posted by Standard A2Y Fare on 05/29/09 at 08:16 AM ET
the fact remains that when one of your fellow 19 says something over the line, it’s ok. When someone else does, it isnt.
Hey, you finally get it! Good for you.
You’re on our playground now, Skippy. And on the playground, we always argue about who started it. And from where I’m sitting, the cheap shots at Konstantinov started on the Pensblog a while ago, long before anyone here mentioned Lemieux’s cancer. And if you and your fellow trolls (and yeah, you’re all getting lumped together because you’re at OUR place; deal with it) want to engage in that, you have no recourse coming when one of your own geninuely gets hurt. Or you can apologize for the Konstantinov crap and we can keep this above the belt, talking hockey. But if you don’t, and you insist that you’re in the right and continue to insist on crossing the line, a warning: some people think that bringing a hose to a water fight is going overboard. Here on A2Y, the 19 think that bringing a fleet of C-130 water bombers is about right.
Or you can f*ck off to whatever rock you crawled out from under. Your call.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 09:31 AM ET
Hey guess what, I stopped reading your comment about one line in, because (1) you’re boring and (2) I don’t care. This isn’t some exclusive club; its the comments section of a hockey blog. If I were trolling, I’d be proud of myself, because I sure as hell got under your skin. Keep writing those novels though, Internet Rambo.
Posted by Standard A2Y Fare on 05/29/09 at 09:40 AM ET
Yet you had to have the last word. And you cared enough to tell me you were ignoring me. Who’s gotten under whose skin here?
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 11:08 AM ET
Keep writing those novels though
Sorry that there’s so much there to read, and that I didn’t put in a reply in a way you’d understand, like one line of banal text followed by four unfunny photoshops and then the word ‘stunned’ in parentheses. But if you think one paragraph is tough going, better stick to Hop On Pop, because people here use big words, and lots of them, to effectively articulate themselves.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/29/09 at 11:40 AM ET
Look pens troll, you mocked Konstantinov and think that it’s OK. I don’t know what cancer remark you’re responding to and I don’t care because the fact that you think you’re justified because you were responding to a comment about cancer shows that you have no appreciation for either.
Posted by UMcataway from FL on 05/29/09 at 12:17 PM ET
and by I don’t care I mean don’t want to hear you
justify your stupidity by differing to others.
Posted by UMcastaway on 05/29/09 at 12:22 PM ET
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
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Yea, but Mario beat Hodgkins. Unlike Vladdy who cant beat his…....FAMILY BLOG.
Nice. It takes a special type of douchebag to mock a player who’s career was ended by a drunk driver.
Posted by UMcastaway from Florida on 05/28/09 at 01:02 PM ET