Abel to Yzerman
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When Norris Speaks?
by IwoCPO on 10/23/09 at 04:18 PM ET
Comments (18)
You’d better start listening. Usually when one of the 19 posts something really good in the comment section? I delete it almost immediately. If there’s one thing I don’t like it’s being shown up. But what Captain Norris gave us this afternoon was so good, and so on point…that I’m going in the opposite direction.
Floor’s yours Norris.
“Funny, I did not wake up this morning and read about how Adrian Aucoin has been suspended for 15 games. SHOULD HAVE, but didn’t. Did anyone else catch that scrum in which he butt ended Maltby in the face, right in front of the “officials” for a solid 20 seconds? If you need help finding it, its right before he then slashed at 18’s neck with the shaft of stick, threw his glove off, and finally threw punches like a man.
This league needs to figure out how to legitimize itself FAST. Parity. *#$%@& parity. *#$%@& it right in its shiny purple ass. These non-calls from the league are a damn plague. Aucoin responded to what he thought was Maltby over-exaggerating a slash. Yep. He was. Maltby did what any good agitator does. He drew a penalty, he sold it, and he took some shoves for it. That’s hockey. But when someone comes in and starts using their stick as a weapon, the league needs to CRACK THE *#$%@& DOWN. Aucoin ended up getting that game winner. Never should have been on the ice. But hey, the NHL basically owns the team so… you know… s’allright.
This reminds me of something. It was vaguely familiar. Hm. OH YEAH. Game 2, Stanley Cup finals. End of the game, automatic instigator. That big mongoloid dipshit, you know, Sloth from the Goonies? He took great lessons from his “apitan” and decided to cry and whine. He started a fight in the last 2 minutes. He got the automatic instigator which is SUPPOSED to be an automatic suspension. Didn’t happen. Surprise. And you know what? Fine. That’s fine. Granted, considering Sloth’s play in game 3, it literally changed the outcome of who won the Stanley Cup but our boys should have overcome.
The part that gets me? Sloth wasn’t just fighting. He didn’t come out there to be a man. Didn’t grab Z by his sweater, drop his gloves and stick, and crack him in the jaw. No. That little born under soviet powerlines pinko KEPT his stick in his hand while the tomohawked Z in the back. He KEPT his stick in his hand while the threw punches. THIS SHIT NEEDS TO STOP.
I get it Gary. You want parity. You don’t like that the world’s greatest team beats up on your little personal goals. Well *#$%@& YOU. This shit needs to get universal. If you keep letting players use their sticks as weapons, and it goes unpenalized over, and over, and over agian, something is going to happen. Someone is going to *#$%@& die. Forget Steve More. Someone is going to catch a Tomahawk to the throat and *#$%@& die. So, despite the fact that your little troll ass is in love with the Wings at .500, call the penalties. Do it because you have turned this league into a circus. It’s a joke.
No excuses for the shitshow that was last night. But I cannot take any more “parity” in Campbell’s decisions.
Thanks Gary. Ass.
A final point: Dont Blame Ozzie.
As hard as it is, I’ve made it a life decision. I’m just not going to do it. The fact of the matter is that we pay the guy 1.4 million dollars a year. 3 Cups. The Greatest Playoff Goaltender of the Past Decade. 1.4 mill. Roberto Luongo’s empty trophy case rocks $6.75 mil. Evgeni Nabokov gets $5.375 to dive in the first round, every time. Turco: $5.7. Bryzgalov: $4.25. Jose *#$%@& Three-Or-More: $4.5.
Goalies that make as much or less than Ozzie?
LaBarberra - the backup goaltender for the PHOENIX COYOTES - makes $400k less.
Budaj - the backup goaltender for the dive - $150k less.
Ty Conklin - you remember him - $100k less.
There’s a handful of others, but as far as I can tell no starters that aren’t on rookie contracts. Fact is, all Ozzie has to do is walk and he makes AT LEAST triple what he takes for us. Here’s the thing: Regular Season Osgood is inconsistent, and not an elite goaltender. He can’t handle the kinds of workloads that the Miikka Kippersoffs of the world can. He can’t consistently stop all the pucks that the Henrik Lundqvists of the world can. But when the playoffs roll around, I’d bench a full boat of Martin Brodeurs over Roberto Luongos before I’d have Ozzie riding the pine. And the dude makes Peter Budaj money.
So fine. You want a better goalie? Cough up a superstar. Or lose every once of depth. In Gary’s (ass) system, that’s the way it goes. It’s why we are (please don’t make me saw were) a powerhouse. It’s the way Tick Tock designed it. Ozzie can’t continue to be our scapegoat. Blame the defense. Blame the offense for not giving a cushion. Blame the coaching. Blame the rookies for stupid line changes and being out of position. Don’t blame the keeper. Let that bastard hang out in a dive bar in plymouth and chainsmoke his parlaimant lights in peace. Because in May and June, it’ll be the Great and Powerful Wizzard of Oz between the pipes and I would have it no other way.”
Posted by CaptNorris5 from Chicago via Detroit on 10/23/09 at 04:36 PM ET
My only addition to that? There’s a good chance that May and June may be coming a lot quicker than we could have ever expected. We may have to break glass in case of playoffs in December, because the guy we love to rag on may have to carry us to a playoff spot.
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Comments
Pure poetry. Like an open-handed bitch slap.
Like this?
Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 10/23/09 at 04:37 PM ET
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
You Lost!! You’ll be fine !!!!! Just going through a shitty time
Posted by Evilpens on 10/23/09 at 04:39 PM ET
Lind of like that except I think we’re all awake now
Posted by socalwingnut on 10/23/09 at 04:42 PM ET
Too bad this was Captain Norris and not Mr Norris himself. He needs a Yzerman speech…yesterday.
Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 10/23/09 at 05:03 PM ET
Great read…promote em. Make him an Admiral.
Posted by Rumbear from Top O da Hasek, when in doubt, pinky out on 10/23/09 at 05:14 PM ET
whoa baby! come find me in the city, ill buy a beer!
Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 10/23/09 at 05:18 PM ET
Too bad this was Captain Norris and not Mr Norris himself. He needs a Yzerman speech…yesterday.
I mumbled a couple of times last year about the missing ingredient of the Yzerman glare. That kind of intensity & drive is contagious…. and it’s missing.
I am not questioning Nik. His leadership is of a different flavor than The Captains, Nik playing with a busted nut is all the proof one needs to verify Nik’s resolve.
Buuuuut, I still say we need someone to lead the boys by example and by an absolute demand that can’t be ingored. Give that balls out effort every shift, the kind nobody can ignore. When TPH plays well, I won’t say he’s invisible.. but he just does most things so well it’s expected-taken for granted or whatever… but Nik’s play isn’t the kind that he can put a team on his back on any given night (if that makes sense).
We’ve got many of the parts & pieces to be a very good hockey club… we’re just a tad short in the desire, drive and intensity dept’s. The straw stirring the drink is absent so far, this team is meandering with no heart & soul.
Like I tell my boys 8 & under on our baseball team.. if you give me 100% effort all the time, I’m fine with mistakes and losses… you don’t give 100% and fall short, it’s all on you & you have nobody to blame but yourselves. If one member of the team isn’t putting out the 100%, he’s letting the team down and that’s contagious too.
We’ve yet to see a 100% effort game this year, even the “good” game against the Caps, “good” meaning nothing more than a W in my less than humble opinion.
Rant off and time for a beer.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 10/23/09 at 05:24 PM ET
I’m honored Chief. Thanks for the stick tap. Unfortunately there’s not enough lukewarm PBR in the world to somehow make watching this great sport anything less than something that has me about 2 seconds away from a massive coronary. I guess we’re all just gluttons for punishment.
And Howard on Saturday… that sure as hell isn’t going to make things any better.
Posted by CaptNorris5 from The Winged Wheel, stuck in Chicago on 10/23/09 at 05:46 PM ET
I guess we’re all just gluttons for punishment.
Kinda like tomorrow, potentially sitting in the same tree stand for 13 hours?
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 10/23/09 at 06:11 PM ET
We’ve yet to see a 100% effort game this year, even the “good” game against the Caps,
t
I disagree.
I see the 100% effort every game.
It is just not coming together.
I think it is the coaching.
Perhaps too many, or confusing instructions.
There seems to be plenty of effort, but way too much wasted effort.
Babs is a big fan of wasted effort (waterbug hockey), and that is why he is fixated on young players.
Veterans avoid wasted effort, and for some reason that is misconstrued as laziness.
Where the hell was our forecheck in the 3rd last night. One player going deep again, waving his stick at the opposition while 4 players back out, allowing the opposition all
the time in the world to set up and then try to stop it at our blue line…??? WTF
The Wings always played good shutdown hockey under Scotty.
Other teams are creating havoc and forcing mistakes in our end with a viciuos forecheck.
And what is the deal with our D laying body checks on the boards during a PK (Stuart especially). That is just not the way good PK’s work. You watch enough hockey, and when you see a Dman commit on the boards, you automatically think oh acrap, because a PPG often immediately follows.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 10/23/09 at 06:11 PM ET
Don’t blame the keeper. Let that bastard hang out in a dive bar in plymouth and chainsmoke his parlaimant lights in peace. Because in May and June, it’ll be the Great and Powerful Wizzard of Oz between the pipes and I would have it no other way.”
Posted by CaptNorris5 from Chicago via Detroit on 10/23/09 at 04:36 PM ET
Thank you for the entire comment. Looks like someone else can see the Silver Lining that is Chris Osgood. The Canadian Miracle Of Insanity.
I know that things are a little on the frantic side but, as a fan I hope and expect my Team to win it all every season. It isn’t crazy talk. Every fan of any other team feels the same way. I remember sitting in the Olympia, watching The Mick score 50+ goals, Marcel Dionne score 49. All the while the Wings didn’t have a snowballs chance in hell of making the playoffs. I still hoped for and expected the Cup. Not because I’m an optimist, but because I am a fan.
So when I watch what is happening now, I don’t shudder or go off the deep end because I have seen worse. This talk of getting rid of Babcock is nonsense. It’s only eight games in, and I see The Flying circus back together as a good sign. Uncle Mike will learn from his mistakes and, will find the answer.
Last year we went out a got a player we did not need, and upset the chemistry that won us a Cup. That is a part of what is missing. And, as Andrew mentioned, Heart.
The most important element in a winner. I see it coming back. Chemistry will develop over the course of the season as every body finds a fit.
J Will is looking like a good move, and Bert is looking like he still has too much on his mind.
Then there is the Grit issue. Once again the Wings are getting manhandled. They all need to spend more time in the weight room and toughen up a bit. Be responsible for making the other teams hate to play against you.
Don’t forget for the past ten years or so the Wings have had a target on their backs as the team to beat. Every team brings their “A” game against Detroit, while the Wings seem to be bringing their “C” game. Their “B” game would be good enough to beat any team in the league. It’s broken but you better believe it will be fixed. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/23/09 at 06:56 PM ET
I love it. I just can’t buy into all of it. Yes we don’t pay Osgood top dollar. Yes we do have a great playoff goalie. I’m just at the point where we might struggle to reach the playoffs. I’ve ripped the panic button off the wall. I’m now hitting the freak out button. Do I love my Red Wings and plan on watching every game? Yes. Do I plan on hating on Osgood, calling for us to do something whenever he struggles just one bit. Yes? It’s my right to demand excellence. I’m a Red Wing fan. J-How is in goal tomorrow and I already miss Ozzie 
Posted by BP29er from In a TeePee skinnin' me some Blackhawk on 10/23/09 at 07:55 PM ET
I think it is the coaching.
Perhaps too many, or confusing instructions.
There seems to be plenty of effort, but way too much wasted effort.
Babs is a big fan of wasted effort (waterbug hockey), and that is why he is fixated on young players.
Exactly. Fire Babcock. He’s frigging terrible. I’m sure he’ll be glad for it. You know, so that he can concentrate on coaching the Canadian Olympic team.
What? Oh. Yeah, I guess somebody thinks he’s kinda good.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 10/24/09 at 07:07 AM ET
You know what, you converted me. I’m not going to blame Ozzy anymore. I’ve never looked at it the way you just described it.
Posted by George0211 on 10/24/09 at 07:41 AM ET
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Pure poetry. Like an open-handed bitch slap.
Thank you, sir, may I have another?!?
Posted by socalwingnut on 10/23/09 at 04:32 PM ET