Abel to Yzerman
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While We’re At It…You’re An Idiot Too
by IwoCPO on 10/15/07 at 03:03 PM ET
Comments (8)
So nice to see you. Just when we thought USA Today had come to their senses, here you are again to enlighten us with your glow of genius.
The Central Division looks interesting.
I think that may be the first time in four years anyone’s been stupid enough to actually put that thought in print. But Ted Montgomery doesn’t stop there.
The Red Wings seem vulnerable, the Predators won’t go away without a fight, and St. Louis and Chicago are both much-improved. Even Columbus, with its talented goaltender Pascal Leclaire, seems poised to make a move. Stay tuned … the balance in this division could shift immeasurably.
I love that. “...the balance in this division could shift immeasurably.” Ted, you are a true tool bag. Immeasurably? Really? I’m curious. Does that mean you’re predicting someone other than Detroit is going to win The Division That Gary Built? That would be an “immeasurable shift”, right?
Say it Ted. Predict it. Please.
Teddy’s Second Round Prediction
The Sharks are the far superior team in this matchup. They’re bigger, faster and hungrier. The Wings will have trouble containing Joe Thornton, Jonathon Cheechoo, Patrick Marleau and Bill Guerin. The only chance for the Red Wings to prevail is if Dominik Hasek somehow outplays Vesa Toskala. Here is how this series is likely to go: The teams split the first two games in Detroit, the Sharks win Games 3 and 4 in San Jose, Detroit wins Game 5 at home, and the Sharks close it out in Game 6.
Prediction: San Jose in six games.
Teddy’s First Round Prediction
The Wings are the better team — they had 17 more points than the Flames — but everyone knows that means nothing now, especially for the Red Wings. They are banged up (Henrik Zetterberg missed most of the second half of the season, and Hasek, Nicklas Lidstrom and Todd Bertuzzi are nursing injuries), and it will be a tough job to hold down the Flames. This could be an upset in the making
Prediction: Calgary in six games
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Tags: Mainstream+Idiots,
Comments
But they wouldn’t be immeasurable if there were a points system… 
Teddy really is a doofus.
Posted by Nathan on 10/15/07 at 03:58 PM ET
Even Columbus, with its talented goaltender Pascal Leclaire, seems poised to make a move
As a Blue Jacket fan...I have to say...this guy is on crack.
Posted by Bethany on 10/15/07 at 04:09 PM ET
“...the balance in this division could shift immeasurably.” Hmmm, could I buy a backbone with that statement? Thought not.
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 10/15/07 at 04:20 PM ET
I couldn’t say this over at Snapshots because I’m supposed to be a “nice guy,” but Teddy’s a putz. He works for Oakland University and claims to be one of those weirdo split Wings-Leafs fans, but the honest truth is that he likes nothing better than bashing the Red Wings whenever possible because he knows that Wings fans will look at his bio, say, “Wait, he’s from Detroit?” and will give him hate mail, which he will protest as getting “bashed” for “being honest.”
The man drives me personally nuts because he bashes the organ-i-zation for no other reason than to be a poop-stirrer, and because he pretends that he’s actually a Wings fan when it’s rather obvious that he’s a Thomas of the world, a person who is a “fan” of “proving he’s right” about his disrespect for the Wings. I don’t take any of his Wings-related comments seriously--he’s like the Bruce Garrioch of Detroit, half of what he says, he makes up in his head just to get a reaction.
Posted by George James Malik from South Lyon, MI on 10/15/07 at 04:29 PM ET
he’s like the Bruce Garrioch of Detroit,
Oof.
Obviously his editors don’t like him either. Did you see how they photoshopped his byline pic to make him look like a corpse that the Law and Order crew just fished out of the Hudson River?
Posted by HockeyinHD on 10/15/07 at 04:46 PM ET
And that’s his new byline pic…
Posted by George James Malik from South Lyon, MI on 10/15/07 at 05:09 PM ET
Looks like the “wierdo” part is dead on target, at least.
What a toolbox.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 10/15/07 at 05:22 PM ET
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“could shift immeasurably”
If only there was some kind of points system to track these sort of shifts…
Posted by Shane on 10/15/07 at 03:53 PM ET