Abel to Yzerman
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Whoa…Wait A Second
by IwoCPO on 03/19/07 at 07:27 PM ET
Comments (11)
Update 1931 I left Vancouver and Minnesota out of the hatefest. Here you go. AlanaH has been talking about you all, every one of you. She’s said horrible things, terrible really. I can’t reveal them out of loyalty to The Empire, but I’ll tell you she’s no fan of the Oil, by god. And Minnesota? Ummm...gimme a few.
I just realized something. The Edmonton Oilers will not be going to the playoffs. Now hold on a damn minute. Stop your scoffing. I’ve known it. But I haven’t grasped it. I looked at the standings, took a gander you might say, and it really hit me.
So what, you say? So what? Why should I care?
Surely you must expect me to hate the Oilers, the team that Punched Us In The Face last year. I’ve given you every reason to think that, haven’t I? Don’t I despise any team that’s had success against our Wings? Of course I do. Let’s count ‘em down. The Dique, Bubba, Bubba Sr., The Clueless. Hate ‘em all.
But Edmonton? Nah. Why? Thank you for asking.
It’s the bloggers. What will come of those sarcastic bastards with the Oil out of the playoffs? Where will I turn for comic relief when the Wings slip behind San Jose 3-1 and all hope appears lost?
That is the question. It gnaws at me today. And I, because you demand it of me, have come up with a solution.
If we can’t turn to the Oil bloggers, I shall open the doors to them. Oh yes...I shall.
That’s right. It is a campaign, a grass roots movement to sway the Oil, to convince them that they must support us as we supported them through their magical run last Spring.
And it comes down to hatred, as it should.
Who do you hate Oil fans? Why...you naturally hate Calgary because it’s genetic, an Edmonton law. We know you hate Dallas. You most certainly hate Anaheim. You hate Bubba because the city of Nashville, their apathy toward hockey, is everything you aren’t. You hate the Dive because, well, you should. Not the players. A kind group of men. But the fans. How can you respect...that?
So don’t you see? That only leaves us, the team you vanquished last season and the blogger who supported you afterward, and San Jose. Hmmm...San Jose. San Jose. Can’t think of anything to hate there, really. I even like the team myself (myself). But, dammit, I supported YOU. It’s time you did the same.
So the call is out. I’m making the plea. I’m asking for the full support of the Oiler Blogosphere. I need your wit, your candor, your vulgarity. We, those you Punched In The Face last year, are asking for reciprocity.
Spread the word Oil Bloggers. Bellow it. Those who supported you in your time of need last Spring ask nothing more than the same.
Plus, we hate the bastard Flames too. Isn’t that enough?
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Comments
I would have supported you but for the lack of support in a post in which you linked eight Oil blogs but not mine.
Seriously, I’m down with Go Colorado until the playoffs. Then I’ll think the playoffs through. Or kill myself.
Posted by Tyler on 03/19/07 at 11:45 PM ET
I’d like to get the first place locked down and face the ‘dives, myself.
Posted by Aaron from phx on 03/20/07 at 01:26 AM ET
Dammit. I knew there was at least one of you I’d leave out. I could easily blame the alcohol.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 03/20/07 at 04:04 AM ET
“You hate the Dive because, well, you should. Not the players. A kind group of men. But the fans. How can you respect...that?”
...says the guy “representing” the team with the most classless group of fans west of Philadelphia…
Wings fans, collectively, have about as much class as Buckeye fans. I would even venture to guess that the majority of Wings fans are Buckeye fans as well. The similarities between the two ravenously irrational groups of dipshits is just too striking to be a coincidence.
Posted by Thomas on 03/20/07 at 04:09 AM ET
Let me think on it chief.
I really don’t know.
When does baseball start?
Posted by Pat on 03/20/07 at 09:58 AM ET
Thomas,
Wow are you clueless. You proved it with this statement: “I would even venture to guess that the majority of Wings fans are Buckeye fans as well.” Ummm no. I’m pretty sure, more Wings fans would be Michigan fans before they would EVER think of supporting that piece of crap OSU.
You must just be upset that there are so many Wings fans that even when they play on the road, it’s almost like a home game. Hell, I just watched a Colorado game the other night and there were a lot of winged wheels in the audience and they weren’t even playing Detroit. That, my clueless one, is just one example of how much Wings fans support not just our team, but the game of hockey. Period.
Posted by Jenn on 03/20/07 at 12:09 PM ET
/bitchslap
Posted by Not Thomass from NW Ohio on 03/20/07 at 01:05 PM ET
I read this line: “I would even venture to guess that the majority of Wings fans are Buckeye fans as well.”
And I wanted to throw up. I hate the Buckeyes more than I used to hate the Avs and that’s saying a lot.
Posted by Christy on 03/20/07 at 03:40 PM ET
I love reading the blogs of the Oiler fans, especially now that the team is losing--NOT because I want the team to lose, but because losing brings out the most creativity in any fan base, and I’m starting to wonder exactly how much of Canada’s entire national stockpile of sarcasm and snark is stored there (I’m thinking about 80%). They are hilarious and informative at the same time, and that is a tricky thing to do.
(And judging an entire group on the basis of an opinion based on a small sample size is the very definition of a bigoted troglodyte.)
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/20/07 at 05:20 PM ET
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Oilers fans are too busy supporting us Avs fans to care about you guys. It’s nothing personal towards you, but it is more their general hatred of Calgary that’s doing it.
Maybe come playoff time
Posted by Colin S. from San Jose, CA on 03/19/07 at 08:09 PM ET