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by IwoCPO on 12/11/09 at 03:42 PM ET
Comments (28)
Take a look at all the lines in hockey, the ones currently skating together regularly. Go ahead. Consider the top five. Not one of them is better than this one would be if they were healthy:
Franzen, Filppula, Cleary. A pure scorer, a playmaker, a grinder with a shot, a nuisance in front of the net, a battler and all three are proven playoff studs.
Unfortunately all three, plus little Willie, are broken. Oh, some casts are gone and that’s nice. But let’s be honest. We’re not going to see a completely healthy lineup the rest of the way. And I mean all year.
The Swedish Meatball’s still staggered from Shea Weber’s donkey punch. And you and I all know that Franzen’s going to be 80 percent, at best, if he’s back at all in time for a postseason that may or may not happen at all either.
Kronwall’s hurt and the power play looks like five drunken muskrats prowling rest stop parking lots looking for Darren Garcia or Osrt. Staggered, stiff and unable to score.
Pavel Datsyuk is depressed and dumbass websites are claiming it’s because his wife misses the mother country. I don’t believe that, but if it were true she might want to read up on what it’s like to be married to a golfer, of all things. She might feel a bit more fortunate.
Van Halen, on a night I thought they’d bring me happiness, bent us over and from the screen shot I gave you of DLR it looks like Roth enjoyed it.
There’s discord, bickering and self-pity. The Hasek is full and very soon imagery of the Stress Train will start showing up here as if it were May. Nothing is as it should be or as it’s been.
The 19 are talking about resisting a trade for the sake of an early-round playoff loss, while others are listening to their Floyd 8-tracks and picking out phrases that make an emo look happy.
But here’s the thing, and it’s a bad-ass silver lining. If they can just…weather this thing. If they can keep within 4 points of a spot until the boys get healthy? Then denying Detroit a playoff spot is going to be tough for teams as mediocre as Vancouver and Dallas and Denver, or teams at just below average like Phoenix and LA.
If Detroit goes into the playoffs with Helm, Ericsson, Eaves and Miller battle tested and Franzen, Fil, Williams, Cleary and Kronwall as healthy as possible? Then we’re looking at an unsolved mystery and a dangerous whore of a team that no one will want to face.
And check this out. Late winter and early spring are going to bring with them something a few of you have never imagined, much less experienced. While we’ve been used to “staying healthy” and “not losing our edge” in March and April? Not this year. The Wings are going to be fighting for their playoff lives starting soon if not now. And by the time April rolls around, we’re going to see what it’s like to be that team that’s been dealing with “playoff games since January.”
Tell me you’re not looking forward to that just a little bit. Take a look at January’s schedule. Holy Hell. Almost every other night. Fifteen games in 31 days and at least nine of them against teams like LA, Bubba and Phoenix…all bitches who’ll be battling for 8, 7 or 6. Oh, and just when you think the month’s coming to a happy close? It’s off to Pittsburgh and a date with Rosby, the Talbot Monster and Malkin.
You’re only going to get one chance at this kind of stress, only one glimpse into the lives of twenty other fan bases…those teams who worry every year about Wednesday night games when the weather’s freezing, doing math in their heads with thirty games left. Never again will we see this amount of injuries. And we already know that Tick Tock’s looking at the out years, counting the cash he’s going to save when The Captain tells him he’s ready for a discount.
We’re gonna have ourselves a race for the 8 spot and it’s going to be a wild, drunken, slobbering, babbling mess of a frigging ride.
And if the Wings don’t get in? It won’t be because they’re not the best team in the West. With a healthy lineup, they are. It won’t be because of goaltending, because that’s been largely strong. It won’t be because of coaching, because we have the best in the business. How do I know that? Because Steve Frigging Yzerman said I should, and if he didn’t believe it my Uncle Mike wouldn’t be coaching the Canadia(en) Olympic team. Nope. If the Wings don’t get in it will be because of injuries and nothing else.
But I’ve got a feeling that come May, we’re going to look back at a lot of pain and laugh, but only a little. This sucks hard. It does and I’m not denying it.
But it’s also kind of fun because it’s new. Do I want to be Bubba, St. Louis, Denver? For the love of sweet adorable six pound Jebus no. Never. But, for one year and one year only, a chase for 8 is going to be a whole new kind of thrill.
So drink up bitches. It may not be fun every night but it’s not going to be boring.
Live blog at 1830 and, yep, Van Halen’s sticking around.
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Comments
“But it’s also kind of fun because it’s new.”
OK. I’m in.
L.G.R.W.
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 12/11/09 at 03:53 PM ET
I had a feeling before the year started that the way last season ended would bring about sloppy play to start the year and maybe even til the 2nd half of the season. And then guys in red sweaters kept breaking things and, well, here it is near Baby Jeebus day and the Wings are on the outside looking in at the warming glow of the playoff picture.
I did NOT have that feeling.
Still, Chief, I agree with you. Watching the Red Wings just TRYING to make the playoffs in March and April will mean possibly four months of Stress Train joy JUST to make the playoffs and, of course, the playoffs were the Winged Wheel returns the Stanley Cup to Detroit.
If this comes to pass, I will not survive till summer - my liver is sure to give out.
Voox, another sazerac please.
Posted by Deuce from Brooklyn on 12/11/09 at 04:00 PM ET
All we’ll be fine after the Olympics. I hope.
Mahna Mahna.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 12/11/09 at 04:04 PM ET
Coyotes are legit…PHX/DET playoff matchup would be legend…wait for it….ary.
Wings obviously with more firepower but with Bryzgalov in nets it would certainly make for an interesting series.
Big time Coyotes fan but I’m a strong supporter of the Winged Wheel. It’s bizzare seeing them struggle this season to injuries and not to league-imposed BS. Nope, nevermind. They’ve had to deal with that again by way of scheduling and “I meant to blow the whistle” calls. Poor Brad May.
Either way I want the Red and White to do well and the Maroon and White too.
Complete sidenote: Anyone else impressed with Make It Rain Wayne Simmonds in LA??
Posted by Ted from PHX on 12/11/09 at 04:05 PM ET
If Svetlana didn’t like Detroit, she and Pavel wouldn’t have built a house here. That report’s absolute BS, and nothing less.
Posted by George Malik from South Lyon, MI on 12/11/09 at 04:07 PM ET
Live blog at 1830 and, yep, Van Halen’s sticking around.
Where Have All The Good Times Gone or Somebody Get Me A Doctor
Who knew? Even Van Halen can be emo.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 12/11/09 at 04:07 PM ET
Hey, who likes statistics? Howard played three straight twice this season.
Oct. 24th to 29th (DEN, VAN, ANA)
First two games, 90.9 save percentage.
Third game, 84.8%
Nov. 11th to 14th (CBJ, VAN, ANA)
First two games, 96.5%
Third game, 82.6%
Dec. 6th to 11th (NYR, STL, ANA today)
First two games, 96.3%
Third game, who knows?
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 12/11/09 at 04:09 PM ET
If Svetlana didn’t like Detroit, she and Pavel wouldn’t have built a house here. That report’s absolute BS, and nothing less.
Posted by George James Malik from South Lyon, MI on 12/11/09 at 04:07 PM ET
I agree.
And never believed a word of the speculation.
But I’m still waiting to hear a logical reason for the funk? And when it will end?
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 12/11/09 at 04:12 PM ET
Posted by Guilherme from Brasil on 12/11/09 at 04:09 PM ET
Oh thank you, Herm (TM Tyler). At least you didn’t repeat yourself five times like TLGH.
Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 12/11/09 at 04:19 PM ET
Oh thank you, Herm (TM Tyler). At least you didn’t repeat yourself five times like TLGH.
Posted by mrfluffy from Cincy on 12/11/09 at 04:19 PM ET
Don’t get it. But you’re welcome.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 12/11/09 at 04:25 PM ET
I may someday look back and appreciate all the struggling and the worry, but not anytime soon.
I remember playing Madden 95 and maxing the score at 255 a couple of games. I also remember turning the difficulty all the way up and limiting myself from throwing the quick slant on 4th and 25. I enjoyed winning both ways, but the former always left me much more relaxed.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 12/11/09 at 04:27 PM ET
Great post, Chief. The road will be long with a wild ride. The engineer is drunk and the Stress Train is swerving all over the tracks. I’ve installed seatbelts on all the Hasek’s bar stools.
Osrt will never use the bar stool’s seatbelt, though. When he comes in with his close friends, they turn the stool upside down and share it.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 12/11/09 at 04:28 PM ET
The News has Buckets’ latest prognosis. Instead of a month, it is now 3 to SIX weeks.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 12/11/09 at 04:33 PM ET
Live blog at 1830 and, yep, Van Halen’s sticking around.
I say for the LB we go really really Old School and bust out some home grown
Detroit talent? I say we go with the Appropriately named Mc5 and a
little “Kick out the Jams mother******S”
Do I want to be Bubba, St. Louis, Denver?
Reading a story on the Fan 590 Toronto site, it’s possible Bubba won’t be around come next May anyway, due to internal financial turmoil and attendance which will fall below 14,00 /game. So, perhaps we can meet in the 1st round and send them packing literally.
Posted by Down River Dan on 12/11/09 at 04:36 PM ET
I thought Pav may have played his worst game in the winged-wheel the other night against the Blues. It will be interesting to see how he responds tonight.
Would like to LB on a Friday night, but will be watching a UP collegiate battle between Northern and LSSU.
I won’t even turn on the radio when coming home to get a late-game score. All I need to do is hop on here, find a middle page, and withing the first four words of the first post I read it will be obvious who is winning, and how the game has gone.
Don’t let me down. Be good and gassed when I get here later.
Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 12/11/09 at 04:43 PM ET
I’m already licking my chops.
#2 Blackhawks v #7 Red Wings in a best of seven.
Dear Blackhawks! You’re one-year window is fauxed. Sincerely your bitch: Karma.
Posted by MacPhisto from Hungary on 12/11/09 at 04:50 PM ET
Osrt will never use the bar stool’s seatbelt, though. When he comes in with his close friends, they turn the stool upside down and share it.
Zing
I don’t think “fun” is the word I’d use to describe this season. You got the first 2 letters right though. Just gimme Wally back and then lets see how things start to play out.
Hiller should be starting tonite for the duckies and for my fantasy team, so he’s sure to get shelled.
Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 12/11/09 at 04:51 PM ET
Hey, who likes statistics? Howard played three straight twice this season.
Oct. 24th to 29th (DEN, VAN, ANA)
First two games, 90.9 save percentage.
Third game, 84.8%Nov. 11th to 14th (CBJ, VAN, ANA)
First two games, 96.5%
Third game, 82.6%Dec. 6th to 11th (NYR, STL, ANA today)
First two games, 96.3%
Third game, who knows?
Posted by Guilherme from Brasil on 12/11/09 at 04:09 PM ET
Odd how the common third opponent is always the Mighty Quacks. Let’s hope Howie puts an end to the sub 90% save percentage in game 3s and stones them tonight. Sure would like to see the PP show up, too.
Posted by Bill from GR on 12/11/09 at 04:52 PM ET
Odd how the common third opponent is always the Mighty Quacks
My bad, the first sequence closed against Edmonton.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 12/11/09 at 04:58 PM ET
My silver lining?
No matter what it looks like, fact is we’re not allowing that many goals. They’re definitely down from last year, and the PK is climbing back up.
If we can stay healthy and keep the defense improving…who knows?
Posted by Tyler from Arizona on 12/11/09 at 05:00 PM ET
My silver lining?
No matter what it looks like, fact is we’re not allowing that many goals. They’re definitely down from last year, and the PK is climbing back up.
If we can stay healthy and keep the defense improving…who knows?
Posted by Tyler from Arizona on 12/11/09 at 05:00 PM ET
I think you just answered your own two-day old question about whether this team does anything well.
You also did it very well, congrats and thank you.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 12/11/09 at 05:03 PM ET
If Svetlana didn’t like Detroit, she and Pavel wouldn’t have built a house here. That report’s absolute BS, and nothing less.
Posted by George James Malik
Damn, look at Malik drop her name like he just had desert with her. Nicely done sir.
Osrt will never use the bar stool’s seatbelt, though. When he comes in with his close friends, they turn the stool upside down and share it.
Posted by VooX
Don’t hate the player, hate the game bitch. The Olsons have to warm up that way or it would just hurt too bad when Daddy comes to play.
_______
In a totally masochistic way, this has been an interesting season to watch. I haven’t seen our kids thrown into the fire in a long time (excluding playoffs) and its painful sometimes but we’re seeing the birth pangs of a new core. Helm and Abby are probably Wings for life. So is Jonny. But they have to learn from the greatest players on our team, so I hope Dats and Z smoked a peace pipe (not names Svetlana) together and decided they need to slap some bitches around.
Is Dr. Rahmani gotta choke a bitch?
Posted by Osrt on 12/11/09 at 05:09 PM ET
Hey Down River Dan, you got a link to that story about Bubba? I want to read it. I’d laugh my ass off if they actually do have to relocate that sorry excuse for a team.
Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from COLUMBIA, TENNESSEE on 12/11/09 at 05:48 PM ET
they need to slap some bitches around.
Is Dr. Rahmani gotta choke a bitch?
Posted by Osrt on 12/11/09 at 05:09 PM ET
As opposed to getting slapped around like bitches. Tonight someone on The Wings darn well better choke a bitch or two. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 12/11/09 at 05:55 PM ET
Glug,glug,glug,glug…..that’s the sound of me drinking a BIG glass of the Chief’s Kool-Aid.
TWENTY -FAUXING-SEVEN weeks until the Cup comes home to Detroit.
Wait..what?? Well, SOMEBODY had to say it.
For the love of sweet adorable six pound Jebus no.
Sweet adorable baby Jebus weighs 8 pounds, 6 ounces according to my transcript.
Posted by dougie on 12/11/09 at 06:01 PM ET
Welcome to the pennant race - fighting it out with the Twinkies to the finish.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 12/11/09 at 06:12 PM ET
Complete sidenote: Anyone else impressed with Make It Rain Wayne Simmonds in LA??
Posted by Ted from PHX on 12/11/09 at 04:05 PM ET
Yes. He looks to have a higher ceiling than many expected.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 12/11/09 at 06:16 PM ET
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It’s going to take longer than until May for me to look back at this and laugh. Years for me to do that about Stockholm. This has been the Season of Suck or the Season of RSV.
Or maybe a hybrid of the two: The Season of Really Sucks Vomit?
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 12/11/09 at 03:51 PM ET