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Abel to Yzerman

You Must Think I’m Stupid Or Something

by IwoCPO on 01/16/09 at 03:07 PM ET
Comments (0)

I know what you’re doing.  And I fall for it every time.  I know you send me things not because you want to let me know you care, but because you enjoy watching me spin up like a large dad at a birthday party with his nose on the end of the bat, going in circles while the kids all laugh and his wife sneaks sips from the gin bottle.

Some of you forwarded things to me today, and I tried to resist.

And I waited as long as I could, like two whole hours. 

Dammit.

They have no true enforcers. They ‘skate lightly’. Their forwards look ridiculous and out-of-place when they try to throw a jaw-shattering check. And an overly-physical team can beat them in a seven-game series: as long as the Stars, Ducks or Sharks play the way they can against the Wings, it’s unlikely Detroit will make it to a second-straight Cup Final. Of course, last year the Wings’ opponents tried to out-skill the Wings rather than punch them in their fat Swedish faces, and the result was the 2008 Cakewalk to the Cup.

I don’t know who Todd Maternowski is but he wrote that. Developmentally, I think he may be a bit slow. Plus, he used 8 exclamation points throughout his “article” and he looks like this. 

I’ll leave it up to you guys to rebut his manifesto as you see fit.  Or don’t.  Me? I’m still laughing after reading this, something else one of you geniuses forwarded me.

PlayStation 3 (the city)
Reply to: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Date: 2008-12-07, 10:54AM EST

I have a Brand new in-box PlayStation 3 gaming system that you can obtain
for a special price. It is the 80gb model and includes 2 brand new dualshock
3 wireless controllers.I do not want your money or thanks. To obtain this
top of line gaming system, you must let me punch you in the face three times
and your child must be present. If you have multiple children, I would
prefer you bring your youngest child. This is not a joke. If you want to be
your children’s hero on Christmas, we will meet at a location that I will
specify to you, and I will proceed to punch you in the face in front of your
child. You may brace yourself if you want before I begin to punch you, for I
am a man of large stature (6’6, 275lbs) In between each punch, I want you to
instruct your child not cry. If your child so much as whimpers, the deal is
off. Don’t think I am a man to be trifled with or that you and a friend can
ambush me. I am a former NAVY SEAL and a veteran of the Irag War.

This is the best deal you will ever find on a PlayStation 3. A truly unique
offer. You are welcome to inspect the product for authenticity before the
deal is done.

Email me for more specific details and we can arrange a rendevous.

Merry Christmas.

Absolutely. Without question.  Hilarious.  Read it twice, four times.  You’ll find something new to laugh at each time. 

Not quite so funny?  This.

With Zetterberg and the Red Wings, it’s clear that both sides would like to make this work. But we’ve seen similar situations in all sports where it doesn’t.

Holland has a limit. Will Zetterberg accept it?

Elliotte Friedman was surprised that his one-sentence Zetterberg reference got you in a lather yesterday. So surprised that he took it further today.

Here’s the answer.  Yes.  Zetterberg will accept it.  Will it re-establish the Wing ceiling?  Maybe.

Oh, does that offend you?  Are we supposed to be shocked at the idea that the Lidstrom rule will be broken?

Look.  Somebody made a comment yesterday that was similar to what I’m about to say.  I tried to find it but couldn’t so try to do it justice.

Nick Lidstrom doesn’t care about making more money than anyone else.  That’s not why the “ceiling” is there.  The max number is in place because Lidstrom wants, as many others do, to ensure that the team isn’t overspending in the Cap era and extinguishing more Cup opportunities by shooting the organ-I-zational wad on 4 or 5 players.  Gross, I know.

If Hank Zetterberg is the new guy on the ceiling, Lidstrom won’t care as long as the team remains competitive.  Highly competitive.  The guy doesn’t even know what an ego is.  Do you really think it’s personal with him?  No.

And it may not be with Hank either.  We don’t know.  All we know is this:  in the midst of the last two days it’s been easy to point fingers at Zetterberg and wonder if he really turned down 75 million.  This is just me talking, but I think it happened.  I think Friedman was telling the truth.  More on that in a second.

Zetterberg will stay because he wants to win.  Again.  Hossa and Franzen are conversations for another day, maybe tomorrow.  Nah.  Sunday.  But Hank?  That’s a Wing for life, and deep down we all know it.

As for Friedman’s source?  I think he gave it away today.  Same blog post. Different paragraph.

As for Zetterberg and the Red Wings, some notes. The last time I talked to Ken Holland about this was opening night, when Detroit hosted Toronto. At that time, Holland was optimistic the Zetterberg deal would eventually get done and was adamant that the centre would not be dealt under any circumstances.

I think Holland told him about Zetterberg turning th deal down way back in October and Friedman guaranteed not to attribute it, if he ever mentioned it at all.  I also don’t think the inclusion of Holland (several times) in today’s blog post was coincidental.  Tick Tock talked.

Ok. I got one more for you.  Puck Daddy ran a little ditty last night about the Zetterberg/Friedman situation.  Comment section’s pretty interesting.  Especially this savant’s reaction.

8. Posted by Anthrax Jones Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:20 pm EST Report Abuse

Heaven forbid a Detroit player demand fair market value!
I hope the players union puts the word to Zetterberg, Hossa, and Franzen that they’re doing their union brethren no favors by taking less money to participate in the Detroit Circle Jerk.

Nice exclamation point.  Thankfully, a response followed soon after.

14. Posted by HamAmnesian Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:48 pm EST Report Abuse
Detroit circle jerk? is that the same as the Stanley Cup Champion circle jerk? Yeah, why would anyone want to take less money to play for a team that perpetually contends for the cup AND takes care of its players…

My time in Denver has been blissfully limited, so I’m not familiar with the technicalities of any sort of circle jerk.  But the point was well made.  And it’s the bottom line.

Zetterberg is going to re-sign and the ceiling will probably stay intact.  For the good of the team.  Now there’s a Hockeytown phrase.

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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