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Abel to Yzerman

You Want A Controversy?  Check This Out

by IwoCPO on 02/17/09 at 12:34 PM ET
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So.  I mosied on over to Spector’s a few minutes ago and took this one out for a spin.

SPECTOR’S NOTE: If Hossa and Franzen are re-signed kiss Hudler, Samuelsson and Conklin goodbye, and don’t expect to see Chris Chelios back. I don’t blame Holland for trying to keep both and they might accept less than market value to remain with the Wings, but I hope they don’t make the mistake of some other notable teams in investing too much money on too many big ticket players and leave themselves without enough for depth throughout the roster.

That’s our friend Lyle Richardson in response to the Freep and the News’ reports that trade winds could be a-blowin’ and that they could be Lightfoot-like in strength but neither goalie is going anywhere.

Oh, I’m sure he’s right.  Logic says that if Z, Hoss and Mule all stay…the Cap and Gary and reality all tell us somebody else has to go.  I know. I know.

But I do have a couple of thoughts that may irritate a few of you.  One in particular may make you question my ability to think clearly, or think at all. 

We’ve hinted at this one a few times today.  Mark W., Chris and Sadie all mentioned it in the comments of this amazingly lucid offering, and here’s the idea:  do we really need to keep Franzen?  If given the choice, wouldn’t all of us pick Hossa and Hudler? 

Hossa’s talent is remarkable.  It’s better than we expected and it’s unlike any other in the league, really.  While Ovechkin may have an equal wrist shot and even greater scoring potential, he doesn’t have Hossa’s defensive hunger or hustle…yet.  While Zetterberg may have that same awareness, he doesn’t have the strength or speed.  Is he better than those two? Not necessarily and maybe not better than Datsyuk either, just a different skill set.

Crosby?  Well, he’s just a little bitch and doesn’t compare to any of them any way.

And really, Franzen?  Straight up there’s no valid comparison between the two.  You don’t have to admit it if you’d rather not, but we all know it by now.  Choose one and it’s Hossa. 

But it’s not that simple. There’s a chance Tick Tock can keep ‘em both, as many have pointed out.  But at what cost?  If he signs both, does that mean goodbye to Samuelsson, Hudler and a very important Conk?

Samuelsson?  Leino.  Cancel him out.  We like Sammy, in a perverted, sick way.  But we’ll take Leino, thanks for asking. 

Oompa? Not so easy now is it?  We’ve watched this kid grow in this organ-I-zation. I’ve practically sobbed for two straight deadlines, begging Tick Tock to just trade him anywhere. Please.  Naturally, he refused and now we have a kid who could be a top six forward on any team in the league. 

And we want to keep him. Thanks, again, for asking.

But how?  Well.  I’ll be your huckleberry. 

Here we go.

Lebda. UFA after next year?  .850. Gone.  Ericsson: Up.

Chelios.  Gone.  Kindl: Up.

Defensive pairings look like this:

Lidstrom/Rafalski
Kronwall/Kindl
Ericsson/Stuart
Meech

Update—Update—Update:  Alzy just made a keen observation.  Where’s Lilja?  Damn right.  That big bastard’s not going anywhere.  My how the worm has frigging turned.  In my opinion, he’s been our third best defenseman this year (maybe second). He’s staying.  Kindl or Meech?  You may have to leave.  I’m just sayin’.

Sammy? Gone.  Maltby?  We’ll give you a nice little tribute, one you seriously deserve, later. But for now?  Gone.  Kopecky? If necessary, if it means getting Helm up here?  Gone.  Downey and McCarty? Gone.  Only UFA the Wings re-sign? Franzen.

Did I forget one?  Oh. Yep.  Conk? 

Gone.

You too Ozzie.  You’re gone as well.

I don’t know how, released, waived, traded. Whatever.  Delude yourselves into thinking this year’s a fluke. Go ahead.  Me?  See ya.  Again, we value what you’ve brought, but seriously…it’s time to move on.  As we say in other organizations, it may be time to retire with your dignity intact.  Cold? Yes, dammit. I know.  But as with Malts…his time in the honorable sun will come.

Where’s that leave us?  Yes indeed.  You wanted a controversy?  I’ll give you one.  It’ll be a frigging stress orgy in this place.  Figured it out didn’t you?

Yep.  A two-headed all rookie tandem of fetal-position-inducing, thumb-sucking, start drinking at 0900 and don’t stop until the neighbors call the vet because your wails of pain sound like baby lambs crying for milk from a mommy who’s too busy knitting her own wool because watching a team with two rookie goalies has driven her certifiably insane (you can rack that bitch).

My recommendation for goaltenders in ‘09/‘10:  Howard and Larsson.  Let ‘em duke it out in TC, only to prove who gets the opening night start.  Then go ahead and rotate them through 1 March.  Use that as your drop-dead name your starter date and roll the frigging dice.  Two away games in San Jose, and you know those games will be big NEXT year?  Split them up.  Back to back nights in December? Sure.  Any test you can find for each of them Uncle Mike. Run ‘em through the wringer and see who comes out ahead at the end of February.

And then it’s trial by fire in the playoffs.  Nuts.  Absolutely insane. 

And an absolute blast to watch go down, wouldn’t it be? 

Would the money work out?  I don’t know. I think so.  I haven’t done the cipherin’.  But I’ll bet it would. 

Keep Franzen. Keep Hossa.  Keep Oompa. Bring the kids up, all of them…and let’s see where it takes us.  Yeah…I’m talking rookies in goal, two of them on defense, at least two of them up front if you want to call Helm, Leino and Home Keys rookies.

Fire away. 

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