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A Scientific Study of Some NHL Goalies

Allow me to present this scientifically-based, docu-dramatic metaphor, which fully illustrates the personality attributes of a select sample of NHL goalies:

LSD Spider (starring Jose Theodore)
Caffeine Spider, (starring Dominik Hasek)
Marijuana Spider, (starring Ilya Bryzgalov)
Alcohol Spider, (starring Ed Belfour)
Crack Spider, (starring Roberto Luongo)

So, yeah: the cracked-out Vancouver Spider wins.  Scientific proof that Vancouver is TOTALLY winning the Cup this year, dammit! Alrighty then. I’m off to the bar to watch the game. (Shockingly—despite the evidence presented in preparing this post—I am still sober.) Go Canucks…

Filed in: dumb stuff, vancouver canucks | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
 Tags: goalies, roberto+luongo, vancouver+canucks,

Comments

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So, wait, Luongo does crack? Is that what I’m supposed to take away here?

Posted by Greg from Couch on 10/13/07 at 08:23 PM ET

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Hee-hee-hee.

I definitely vote funny.  smile

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 10/13/07 at 08:36 PM ET

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Although I would vote Hasek is a Ritalin-overdose goalie, but caffeine works nearly as well.

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 10/13/07 at 08:46 PM ET

Alanah McGinley's avatar

Greg— No! It’s a metaphorical demonstration.  You bloody, crazy Avs fans… always looking for an angle to drive me nuts. smile

Baroque— Initially I wasn’t sure where to slot Hasek; “caffeine dude” just seemed best since there was no reference in the film to “nutcase Czech web-minder”—and yet I still felt a need to highlight the guy. (A big shock, no doubt.)

Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 10/14/07 at 03:20 AM ET

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So does that mean that Dom Hasek is Bobby Lou’s bitch? Or is that just during the winter? XD
GO CANUCKS GO!!!

Posted by Nigel from Vancouver on 10/25/07 at 08:51 PM ET

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About Canucks & Beyond

Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003 (with a notable gap in time through 2010, kicking it with new baby Lucy while living knee-deep in chaos while reading “parenting for complete idiots” during every spare minute) sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen. 

In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla’s Korner, Alanah was one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast.  She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.

So that’s me. Who the hell are you? smile


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Alanah’s Twitter: [@alanah1]

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