Canucks & Beyond
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Bartending for the Best-of-7
by Alanah McGinley on 03/30/09 at 02:24 PM ET
Comments (6)
Starting Tuesday, the Vancouver Canucks begin what I’ve come to think of as their first playoff series, a best-of-7 effort which will lead them at full steam—or half mast—into the 2009 playoffs. Big games, as they’ll determine the team’s final placement in the standings.
But it’s also important to remember that this season-ending series features six teams with fans who might arguably be more stressed out than Canucks fans: Minnesota, Edmonton, Colorado, Los Angeles, Calgary and Anaheim. So why not make an effort and invite an “enemy” fan over for to your place to watch each game?
In order to better entertain your guests, the following list is a cocktail menu designed to make them all feel at home by way of your generous hospitality. Make an effort and they’ll know how much you care.
MINNESOTA WILD
Grenadine
Creme de Mint
Club Soda
Provide a chaser of Pepto Bismol and caffeine. Always lots of caffeine.
Virgin Drink Option:
Grenadine
Ground Spinach
Lemon-Lime Soda
Served in a Derek Boogaard-endorsed sippy cup.
ANAHEIM DUCKS
Red Wine
Ginger Ale
Garnish with Mickey Mouse ears. (Note: Garnish the drink, not your friend. Anaheim fans can be a bit sensitive when it comes to references to animated Disney characters.)
Virgin Drink Option: Berry Punch Kool Aid
EDMONTON OILERS
Rye Whiskey
Blue Curacao
Vodka
Equal parts, straight up. Suggest that your friend repeat as necessary each time the Oilers cough up a goal. (But please, do not allow them to exceed 70 or 80 shots.)
Virgin Drink Option: 10W-40
COLORADO AVALANCHE
Coors Lite
Pour the beer into a glass and put glass in the freezer till liquid is frozen solid. Serve with a spoon. (For bonus hospitality, be sure to provide blinders to your guest during the game. It’s a thoughtful gesture of mercy and your Avs-Fan friends will thank you.)
Virgin Drink Option: Coors Lite is still a safe choice.
CALGARY FLAMES
Find the most expensive Rye Whiskey you can, then add bitters to it. Lots of bitters.
Virgin Drink Option:
Be creative. Perhaps invent something called “The Keenan”? Recipe ideas welcome.
LOS ANGELES KINGS
Whiskey Sweet Vermouth Bitters Ice LA’s favorite inferiority-complex cocktail, otherwise known as a “Manhattan.” Virgin Drink Option: Not applicable. There are no virgins in Los Angeles. ______________________________________ Disclaimer: If you try any of the recipes above, you’re out of your freakin’ mind.Filed in: | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
Comments
Coors Lite
Why, I’ve never been so insulted in my life.
Posted by Greg from Atlanta on 03/30/09 at 04:27 PM ET
Safety tip for any Aves drinkers…Spoon should be of plastic variety for small children. As we all know, Aves fans are not allowed sharp implements till they are out of dipers!
Posted by steve-uk from Paisley, Scotland UK on 03/30/09 at 07:15 PM ET
All of this may be moot,, since only four of these teams even have a cup to drink out of, Soooo, you better drop Vancouver, Minnesota, and LA from the list.
Also rans….or maybe just a serving of humble pie for January Canuck fans!
And the beat goes on.
Posted by Martin from Victoria on 03/31/09 at 04:23 AM ET
SYF: Can’t really make that much fun of Anaheim for the criminally-charged ownership. I think that’s some kind of NHL epidemic at this point. 
Greg: Don’t be coy. I know you drink it.
Steve: You’re mean. But still, funny!
Martin: Don’t worry. Those of us without a Cup are devout believers in drinking straight from the bottle…
Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 03/31/09 at 01:02 PM ET
Excellent idea, Alanah! I anxiously await my free plane ticket so I can be your fenemy guest for the Avs-Canucks game. If you don’t mind, I’ll stick with tequila poppers ( tequila and Squirt, cover the top of the shot glass with your hand, bang on table, consume). Trust me: by the time you realize what stupid concoction you’re drinking, you’ll be too blitzed to care. Particularly handy for those who hate the taste of tequila but crave its quick effect.
No real Coloradan drinks the Silver Bullet - even though the hockey season has been blown to Hades, we have our pride.
The least you can do is a first-class ticket, since I’ll be (vewy, vewy quietly) rooting for your guys in the playoffs (pathetic, stifled sob).
See you Sunday!
Posted by Amy from Colorado on 04/01/09 at 11:36 PM ET
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About Canucks & Beyond
Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003 (with a notable gap in time through 2010, kicking it with new baby Lucy while living knee-deep in chaos while reading “parenting for complete idiots” during every spare minute) sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen.
In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla’s Korner, Alanah was one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast. She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.
So that’s me. Who the hell are you?
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Actually, for ANA, I’d serve something like Red Bull and Vodka: confused and likely to end up in jail for being stupid just like their owner Henry Samueli.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 03/30/09 at 03:39 PM ET