Canucks & Beyond
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c.2003 Denver and Things Are Looking Up
by Alanah McGinley on 02/27/08 at 06:25 PM ET
Comments (20)
It was 2003 that I first crowned the Avs the Evil Empire (in my own sweetly-quaint hockey shorthand). But things change, of course, and the truth is that hockey hasn’t been quite the same for this Canucks fan in recent years.
Scoring, blah. Shootouts, blah. Big saves? Big deal. Coach of the Year? Pffft. Sometimes it all seems like one never-ending strand of mediocrity that occasionally resembles hockey, occasionally doesn’t. I mean, the games are often great, but my anticipation factor is lower than it used to be.
But now the Colorado Avalanche have decided to change all that. It’s 2003 all over again, and I think I’m about to be reborn.
The reintroduction of Adam Foote and Peter Forsberg… so hard to ignore the symbolism of such acquisitions. And apparently I’m not the only one sort of fascinated by it all.
Forsberg in particular demonstrated IwoCPO’s immense talent for bitterness and vitriol the other day; Jes Golbez feels like he’s back in 2001; the Yankee Canuck is partying like it’s 1999. And geez, I think every hockey pundit on earth has made a “Where’re Patrick Roy and Claude Lemieux?” joke in the last 24 hours.
Despite the kerfuffle a few weeks ago, I’ve never held a desire to see Forsberg play for Vancouver. Not that he isn’t (or wasn’t) a talented Swede—to trick-out the rest of our collection of talented Swedes—but suddenly cheering the guy would’ve required treatment for whiplash, given all the trashtalk I’ve directed that guy’s way over the years.
Regardless, are the Avalanche really that much better with Forsberg?
When I asked a friend that question last night, he told me that I’m just being a bitter, partisan Canucks fan (well, duh) but I can be bitter and partisan without being wrong. (And besides, I can be quasi-objective; for instance, I do think Ruslan Salei was a smart pickup.)
Anyway, I’d love to slag-off the Avalanche for a while, but I’m way out of practice. Which is sort of pathetic, since Woody Paige quotes like this are practically begging to be the setup for a smartassed joke. Sigh.
Fortunately tonight’s game should get me back in the spirit. Even without Forsberg returning to the ice tonight, I’m sure his presence in the building (he’s actually hosting a freakin’ press conference in GM Place before the game) will be oh-so-inspiring…
P.S. Yes, I’m perfectly aware that even thinking about trashing the Avs for picking up Forsberg is idiotic when I consider the fact that my own team traded off Matt Cooke for Matt Pettinger yesterday. But that’s a rant for another time. (I realize most fans disagree with me, but I’ve actually managed to work up a lot of irritation about that trade in the last 24 hours or so… I even hinted at it in my bit in the New York Times today. But not much. Another time.)
P.P.S. And apologies to my favorite Avs fans out there—you know I love you and I’m truly sorry we must become enemies again…
Update 3:55pm PT: Well, I may be able to make fun of that team again sooner than I think. Reading Adrian Dater’s blog post just now (someone sent it to me; I don’t go looking for this stuff!) my first reaction was to tell Adrian to hide his lust better (“Coming up for air”? is he serious?)... but my second was to tell Forsberg to get a bodyguard and shake the stalker.
Of course, my favorite option is just to point and laugh.
First Woody, and now this. I can’t believe I forgot how entertaining the Dive media can be…
Update 7:22pm PT: Wonderful stuff. The reason Forsberg isn’t playing tonight?? Oh, it’s not because of his ankle, and it’s not because of any NHL limitations. And nor is it because he needs a few days to get acquainted with his new team.
The real reason?
Peter Forsberg return to the Avalanche has been delayed slightly as he will not accompany the team back to Colorado as he deals with immigration issues.
Forsberg was taken from Avalanche practice today to the U.S. Consulate in Vancouver. His arrival in Vancouver took nearly 30 hours after flying from Sweden to London, England then from Montreal.
Ha! Unless I’m misunderstanding something here (entirely possible, but let’s just ignore that for a moment, k?) Floppa isn’t being permitted to make any cash from his U.S. employer quite yet. They’re just making sure they get him under that IRS umbrella first… and so he gets hauled away from GM Place.
Beauty. Wonder how Dater missed that? (Well, probably just too much lust, and too little alanah-quality-analysis…)
Update 7:25pm PT: TSN television just agreed with me (sorta) making the statement that Forsberg doesn’t have his U.S. work Visa sorted out yet. (Shame. Terrible shame. Don’t mess with the tax man…)
Filed in: obnoxious hockey blogging | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
Tags: colorado+avalanche, hockey+hate+is+back+in+style, peter+forsberg,
Comments
The Paige description also applies to Dater, by the way. A little less cheese, but still…
Posted by Amy from Colorado on 02/27/08 at 07:03 PM ET
Ahhh… the return of the REAL Alanah. Bitter and Avs-hating. (and in a couple months, sadly disappointed.)
Roy/Lemieux jokes are for suckers—we’ve moved on to “Where are Valeri Kamensky and Rene Corbet?”
Posted by Greg from Atlanta on 02/27/08 at 07:39 PM ET
This is a surprise Alanah, I thought you only hated really good teams. You may be more than a little premature in renewing your disdain for the Av’s. The addition of Forsberg and Foote will not really matter, and is only an attempt to sellout the Pepsi center (when the Wings aren’t visiting) once again.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 02/27/08 at 08:12 PM ET
Amy— It will NOT work—you cannot make yourself likable, dammit. I have become stone-cold to the evil tricks of the fake-niceness of Avs fans! (“The Evil Empire.” Just memorize that!) 
Greg— Sweet geezus, Greg—and you wonder why I make fun of you? (regardless, a gift for you here)
HockeyTownTodd— Don’t get me started on you Wings fans. I’ve already forgotten about every other <strike>Canucks/Wings disaster</strike> matchup this season and feel it’s totally appropriate to only remember last weekend.
Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 02/27/08 at 08:46 PM ET
Alanah - If you’ve been burned by fake niceness, I apologize on behalf of all civilized Avs fans -yeah, we DO exist, honest (but you know that because you said yourself that you love some of us!).
I thought the Evil Empire existed a little farther to the east. Speaking of which… HockeyTown - that’s St. Paul, right? Yeah, St. Paul. A deserving city.
Posted by Amy from Colorado on 02/27/08 at 09:20 PM ET
“civilized Avs fans” is redundant.
Alanah’s just lived too long in the harsh, uncaring land of Vancouver. She no longer recognizes real human kindness (as shown by Avs fans) when she sees it.
Posted by Greg from Atlanta on 02/27/08 at 09:30 PM ET
Amy— Nice shot at Detroit—I totally approve!
Greg— Don’t get pissy with me. I’ve got dirt on you, I’m sure, Colorado-boy. 
Post Game Summary:
DAMMIT!! Avs win, Canucks lose. God is sad.
Geezus. I need to reconsider the days I trash-talk other teams. I think I’m freakin’ cursed…
Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 02/28/08 at 12:55 AM ET
DAMMIT!! Avs win, Canucks lose. God is sad.
Why is God sad? He scored the tying goal with 14.7 seconds left.
Posted by Greg from Atlanta on 02/28/08 at 09:16 AM ET
Nice one, Greg
And Alanah, I know you didn’t call Forsberge “Floppa”, did you? IwoCPO’s bitterness is rubbing off on you. Quick! Step away from the dark side!
Posted by Shane from Saskatoon on 02/28/08 at 09:33 AM ET
Damnit, then I go and misspell Forsberg. But hey, I just woke up.
Posted by Shane from Saskatoon on 02/28/08 at 09:34 AM ET
Shane, Shane, Shane. You guys always do that, you Dive bloggers. I’m not bitter.
If the Wings had lost the last meaningful game between our two teams by a score of 7-0, I’d be bitter. If Denver had swept the series this year, holding the Wings to two goals, I’d be bitter. If..if..if.
I’m not. I’m very content with our respective situations right now. Do I dislike “floppa”? Why..yes I do. But that doesn’t make me “bitter” it just makes me…me.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 02/28/08 at 09:47 AM ET
Well, in your contentment you output what appears to be a lot of resentment
Posted by Shane from Saskatoon on 02/28/08 at 10:04 AM ET
Oh, Greg, that was beautiful. Almost as beautiful as that goal. And the one His Holiness made a few minutes later.
It was a good game, though, Alanah, don’t you admit?
Posted by Amy from Colorado on 02/28/08 at 10:43 AM ET
I admit nothing. I stuck my head in a gas oven when that winning goal went in, and I haven’t been up for air since.
Bah!
Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 02/28/08 at 12:37 PM ET
I admit nothing. I stuck my head in a gas oven when that winning goal went in, and I haven’t been up for air since.
A gas oven A? Isn’t that a bit dramatic? A box of wine I believe, though.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 02/28/08 at 12:49 PM ET
I hate casting blame on the zebras, because I feel they only influence the outcome of games if teams allow them to do so.
However, John-Michael Liles should be forced to change his last name from ‘Liles’ to ‘Dives’ after that performance the other night against Calgary in OT.
Furthermore, how both zebras missed that high stick at the start of OT on Kesler by Stastny I’ll never know.
Posted by dash_pinched on 02/28/08 at 01:27 PM ET
I for one am looking forward to the Nut Puncher’s return to the Divealanche, as after all, it was his heroic leaps when feeling an opponent’s stick that earned them the nickname…
And the Ryan Kesler uncalled high stick count is now at 6…
Posted by Kent from Victoria on 02/28/08 at 06:51 PM ET
His finest moment…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c33sEyWyhLM
Posted by Kent from Victoria on 02/28/08 at 06:55 PM ET
Geez, Kent. It’s a good point - Kesler does get nailed with a lot of sticks… or general hits to the head. It’s getting freaky.
That video is a classic…
Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 02/29/08 at 02:27 PM ET
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About Canucks & Beyond
Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003 (with a notable gap in time through 2010, kicking it with new baby Lucy while living knee-deep in chaos while reading “parenting for complete idiots” during every spare minute) sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen.
In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla’s Korner, Alanah was one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast. She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.
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Alanah,
Why, oh why, must Avs and Canucks fans be enemies? Rivals, yes, but not enemies. Bertuzzi’s long gone.
Please don’t think any serious Colorado sports fan bothers to read anything Woody Paige writes. He’s a nothingburger with extra cheese.
Here’s to an entertaining game tonight!
Posted by Amy from Colorado on 02/27/08 at 07:01 PM ET