Canucks & Beyond
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Canucks vs Furniture
by Alanah McGinley on 10/16/07 at 11:12 PM ET
Comments (8)
A friend (who is, incidentally, a bitter, bitter, dark, crusty, crazed, mean-spirited, horrible, evil, unpleasant - hell, I’m almost out of insults, but here’s the kicker—AVALANCHE fan) forwarded me the Canadian Press column below tonight with the words, “sometimes the jokes just write themselves.”
Ugh. It’s only October 16th, a 3-2 record, and the enemy is already finding justification to take abusive potshots.
But I’ll admit: while I’m semi-hopeful my Dives’ friend gets run over by a truck of Coors Lite, I have little sympathy for the Canucks’ coaching staff, either. They set up Tuesday’s practice, and they shouldn’t be surprised to see something like this in a national, headlining story.
From the CP via TSN,
A chair came out of the stands to take a couple of shifts during the Vancouver Canucks practice Tuesday.
Truth be told, the chair didn’t play that badly. It didn’t get out of position, blocked a few shots and probably had a better plus-minus than some of the players.
While the chair left some of the Canuck players scratching their heads, it was an example of the Vancouver coaching staff searching for ways to improve an NHL team that has struggled to win faceoffs, has suffered too many defensive breakdowns and is third in the Western Conference for goals allowed.
During a drill, the chair was placed about four metres inside the blue-line. The idea was for the Canuck defencemen to keep their heads up, try to shoot around the obstacle, and get some pucks on net.
“I don’t think I’ve seen that one,” said defenceman Aaron Miller, a 13-year veteran. “I really wanted to hit it.”
Goaltender Roberto Luongo shrugged.
“I skated with a chair once when I was five,” he said.
Sweet Geezus.
For fun, the cost of the day’s quotable Canucks Deep Thoughts (CDT™)
$1.5 million: “I really wanted to hit it.”
$6 million: “I skated with a chair once when I was five.”
I sure as hell hope someone can tell me a good Avs’ joke. And fast.
Filed in: vancouver canucks | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
Tags: aaron+miller, roberto+luongo, vancouver+canucks,
Comments
Any bets on where the chair finishes in the Canucks scoring race? Top five?
Posted by Greg from Colorado (in spirit) on 10/17/07 at 11:31 AM ET
And if you have a dirty mind like mine, you can read different connotations into Miller’s “I really wanted to hit it.”
As Elvis once said, “if you can’t find a partner, use a wooden chair.” Let’s rock, indeed.
Posted by Eric from Baltimore on 10/17/07 at 05:15 PM ET
Could be worse. At least the chair didn’t check anyone. Toronto defensemen get checked by inanimate objects.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 10/17/07 at 05:45 PM ET
They OWE me furniture, either ones I’ve willingly damaged while sober or ones I’ve unwillingly damaged while drunk.
Posted by Isabella from Vancouver on 10/18/07 at 01:19 PM ET
Terry— As long as the hair looked good… pretty sure that’s all Avs fans are worried about. 
Greg— Not a fair comparison as the chair is exceptionally well-motivated: if it doesn’t perform, Vigneault sets it on fire and BBQs a hot dog. I’m pretty sure Taylor Pyatt doesn’t have such worries.
Eric— When it comes to “I want to hit it” I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone would automatically think. (Or maybe it was just us? Perverts…)
Baroque— This is true; the chair has yet to trip over the net while attempting to skate past it.
Isabella— Buying you a replacement chair would just start a precedent that would require they buy me a new house altogether. So much damaged plaster on these walls from the impact of thrown bottles…
Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 10/18/07 at 02:44 PM ET
Not a fair comparison as the chair is exceptionally well-motivated: if it doesn’t perform, Vigneault sets it on fire and BBQs a hot dog. I’m pretty sure Taylor Pyatt doesn’t have such worries.
No, that seems more like something Eddie Shore would’ve done. But it is an intriguing idea he might want to keep a hold of.
Me, I wonder if the chair was a statement about Sheldon Souray?
Posted by Doogie2K from Calgary on 10/18/07 at 03:46 PM ET
LoL at that chair, some people obviously have no life 
Posted by Michaela from USA on 03/05/08 at 12:21 AM ET
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About Canucks & Beyond
Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003 (with a notable gap in time through 2010, kicking it with new baby Lucy while living knee-deep in chaos while reading “parenting for complete idiots” during every spare minute) sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen.
In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla’s Korner, Alanah was one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast. She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.
So that’s me. Who the hell are you?
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Alanah’s Twitter: [@alanah1]
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OK - don’t look now but!
Dives 5 Flames 4 in a shoot out.
Or was it Flames 7 Dives 1 and a shoot out win. In reference to the three Calgary own goals.
The kicker was Jose T played nearly two periods of shutout hockey. His hair looked ok too.
Posted by Terry from West Van on 10/17/07 at 12:38 AM ET