Canucks & Beyond
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Interview with Matt Sundin’s Left Skate
by Alanah McGinley on 05/28/09 at 02:13 PM ET
Comments (7)
In the crush of the Stanley Cup Finals and all the related pandering, whining and moaning—about everything from NBC broadcast schedules to the importance of stopping criminal octopi from littering Pennsylvania, etc—it’s easy for the really important Canucks stories to get lost in the shuffle. That’s why when we had a chance to find out about Mats Sundin’s future this week, we weren’t going to miss the opportunity to talk to the source. Or rather, to his feet… or to be really specific, to his left skate.
Some hockey news providers might consider such an interview ‘unconventional’, or ‘lacking professionalism’ or ‘crazy-as-snakes’, but Canucks & Beyond doesn’t discriminate in rampant ways against stray pieces of hockey equipment.
We are, as always, unflinching in our search for truth.
Interview is transcribed below.
C&B: How did you handle the weight this season?
Left Skate: Good, good. Sundin’s foot felt right and the whole body was very gradual about amping up the speed and energy. Nothing moved too fast much of the time and it gave me time to get my bearings.
C&B: You needed time?
LS: Christ, yes. I’d been laying about in a closet for about 7 months. You try hibernating for over half a year then shifting to 30mph without any warning.
Slow and steady wins the race, that’s what I always say. I was so glad to stick with Mats, not get donated to some psychotic speed demon like Mason Raymond.
C&B: You’re not a fan of Raymond?
LS: Well, I got nothing against the guy, but I talked to Left Sockster all the time this season (The Socksters are what Mason named his skates) and lefty was ready for the infirmary almost every f&#king night.
I’m telling you, there was NO skate in that locker room that wasn’t terrified of being accidentally left at that locker. We’re going to have union meetings about it this summer, lady.
C&B: Alright. So how do you think you performed this year, overall?
LS: Oh, I was a star, fersure. Nothing happened to the guy’s left ankle, did it? No, nothing. Secure and supported every step of the way. But I had a job to do, and I know my job. That Sundin character has a tendency to lean left and I’d say that more than $5 million in hockey-superstardom was cramping my leather most of the time.
C&B: $5 million? You really think most of Sundin’s value came down to his feet?
LS: Well, it’s a factor. Not speed, but he can be bastard in the crease. Once he gets in there, idiots like Ben Eager end up sprawled all over the place, and the next thing you know, I’m dealing with bleeding tootsies and screaming babies.
C&B: Yeah? Where do the screaming babies come into it?
LS: Oh, sorry. I was thinking about when we played the Avalanche. The Pepsi Center has this endless high-pitched, screechy quality…
C&B: Right. So what’s in your future? Another season with Mats and the Canucks?
LS: Oh, hell no. We’ve talked and decided to move to a team more at our speed. Where people worship us and don’t really expect much.
C&B: Oh, so you’re going back to Sweden?
LS: Nah. Back to Toronto.
Many thanks to Matt Sundin’s Left Skate for this interview.
More equipment and body part interviews to come in the near future. Next week, Roberto Luongo’s mask talks about how he deals with panic attacks during hair growth spurts.
_____________________
*hat-tip to the inspiring & far more entertaining work of John Scalzi 
Filed in: vancouver canucks | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
Tags: mats+sundin,
Comments
“The question that wasn’t asked is/was: “Has Sudin’s left skate spoken to Forsberg’s right skate?”
Holy hell, how did I miss that question?! Embarrassing!
(And just imagine how bad something has to be to embarrass a chick willing to publish an interview with a piece of hockey gear…)
Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 05/28/09 at 03:13 PM ET
I liked it a lot.
If you want help, Alanah, I can provide cheap Swedish translation in the eventuality that Forsberg’s skate is not bilingual.
Posted by shanetx on 05/28/09 at 03:26 PM ET
If you want help, Alanah, I can provide cheap Swedish translation in the eventuality that Forsberg’s skate is not bilingual.
Awesome, thanks! So many things to ask Forsberg’s skate—like why he hates Forsberg and did he purposely sabotage his career?
Intelligent hockey fans demand answers, dammit…
Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 05/28/09 at 03:35 PM ET
im still not over the fact that we aren’t in the finals…........
I can’t believe i just said that…..............
Posted by Luongo-is-my-hero on 05/28/09 at 04:35 PM ET
I’m sorta grateful, to be honest. Watching the Canucks get slaughtered wouldn’t be as much fun as you think.
Posted by Alanah McGinley from British Columbia on 05/28/09 at 05:00 PM ET
Very funny “interview”. Keep doing more of these.
Posted by Discount cat supplies on 10/21/09 at 12:34 PM ET
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About Canucks & Beyond
Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003 (with a notable gap in time through 2010, kicking it with new baby Lucy while living knee-deep in chaos while reading “parenting for complete idiots” during every spare minute) sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen.
In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla’s Korner, Alanah was one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast. She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.
So that’s me. Who the hell are you?
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The question that wasn’t asked is/was: “Has Sudin’s left skate spoken to Forsberg’s right skate?
Posted by dbcooper from parts unknown on 05/28/09 at 03:02 PM ET