Kukla's Korner Hockey
New Technology
by Paul on 05/17/08 at 07:09 AM ET
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from James Duthie at the Ottawa Citizen,
- Forget the Glow-Puck. What we need is the Glow Puckbunny. Whenever Elisha Cuthbert is present in an NHL arena, she will automatically illuminate so as to be easily located by television cameras—and young defencemen. If some sort of chip has to be installed to make this technology work, I volunteer.
- Install an invisible electric fence surrounding the goal crease. It’s simple keep-dog-in-yard technology. When, for example, Tomas Holmstrom’s large booty makes contact with the crease, he will receive a brief, yet painful shock. If this fails to deter the crease intruder (knowing Holmstrom, he may actually enjoy it), the linesmen will have the authority to shoot him in the neck with a tranquilizer dart. This was suggested by Marty in Dallas. Thanks for your e-mail, Marty.
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