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Campbell: The Hands Of Fate

by Mike Chen on 05/27/09 at 11:00 AM ET
Comments (5)

ith a big Game 5 looming around the corner, it seems like Hawks fans are ready to throw Brian Campbell and his mega contract to the wolves. Some pretty nasty stuff is being said; some are calling it the downfall of Dale Tallon while others simply just throw out expletives. You’d think that Campbell is the worst thing to wear red and black since The Master in Manos: The Hands of Fate.

(What? You’ve never seen Manos: The Hands of Fate? Take a hockey break and read up on the worst movie ever made.)

Let’s take a step back here. So Campbell’s not the second coming of Nick Lidstrom or Scott Niedermayer...is that actually surprising? Yes, Campbell’s one of the highest paid defensemen in the league, but Dale Tallon even admits that he overpaid for Campbell to make a splash in the suddenly hot Chicago marketplace.

Except for a few pretty rare exceptions, defensive-minded blueliners don’t hit the jackpot like their offensive-minded brethren. Campbell’s swift skating and keen offensive instincts are what earned him those big bucks, not his punishing hits (yes, he has the infamous R.J. Umberger hit but that’s not exactly a Campbell staple a la Scott Stevens) or penalty-kill abilities. Expecting him to be in the same league as generational defensemen like Lidstrom or Niedermayer is simply taking his salary out of context.

Of course, since I live in the Bay Area, I saw a bit of Campbell first hand during his brief tenure in San Jose. I remember right after the trade happened, some Buffalo fans emailed me and said that Campbell would be ridiculously frustrating—brilliant offensively in one shift and just a turnover machine the next.

And you know what? They were right. At the time (and this is pre-Dan Boyle, whom I’d take over Campbell any day of the week), those turnovers were acceptable since the Sharks desperately needed a puck-moving defenseman. When Campbell was on, boy was he on; when he was bad, his turnovers stank like dog poop in the microwave.

But I knew what I was getting. Just like I wasn’t expecting high art the first time I saw Manos: The Hands of Fate (though I read one review that said if you overdub a foreign language and revamp the music, you could pass it for a non-sensical European art film), I wasn’t expecting Campbell to be a defensive stalwart. He had his skills, he had his purpose, and I was ok with that.

So if you’re hating on Brian Campbell because you expected him to be a Norris-worthy defenseman, you’ve got to reset your expectations. That fat paycheck is for offensive skills that few people possess; in some cases, you’ve got to take the good with the bad. Overpaid? No one’s arguing that, and in a perfect world, only elite defensemen on both sides of the puck would get that money. But we’re not in a perfect world; we’re in one where flashy stats drive bidding wars to ridiculous values.

It’s all about context. If you acknowledge that Campbell offers a pretty big offensive upside with defensive liabilities, along with the realities of what drives a player’s salary, then there’s no real need to hate on him. Be frustrated? Sure, but don’t expect him to be something that he’s not.

And now, to prepare for Game 5, let’s all enjoy a little clip from the worst movie ever made. (By the way, you can watch the full MST3K version here or the actual entire movie here thanks to Google Video.)

Filed in: NHL | Mike Chen's Hockey Blog | Permalink
Tags: Brian+Campbell, Chicago+Blackhawks,

Comments

i don’t quite see the connection between “manos: hands of fate” and brian campbell… bits of the film have always reminded me of certain aspects of the nhl though

the incredibly, ridiculously, stupendously tedious 25 minute opening drive through the dullest part of arizona with three lines of dialogue = alain vigneault’s vancouver canucks playing with a one goal lead
torgo’s ungainly, slow, back-to-front walking gait = derian hatcher’s skating
the inability of the victims to change their plans even when things get incredibly weird and ominous = glen sather’s inability not to sign overpriced free agents
torgo’s skilful seduction of the main woman = bob gainey negotiating with brian lawton to bring vinny to montreal

as for brian campbell, i think blackhawk fans are more frustrated by the length of his deal, not the price of it. that $7 million a year basically guarantees that one of seabrook, barker or keith will have to be sacrficed in a few years, which is particularly frustrating given that all three are probably better d-men than campbell.

Posted by fredster from manchester on 05/27/09 at 10:24 AM ET

Good ones, Fredster. Yeah, there’s not really a direct connection between Manos and Campbell, but those two random things connected in my head when I saw someone say something about Campbell not being worthy of wearing the red and black. I suppose that says something about me when I immediately thought about that awful black robe with the red hands!

Here’s another comparison for you: the aimless cops who hear a gunshot, take a few steps out of their car, then decide it’s ok = the refs trying to decide if it’s hooking or interference, then just giving up and letting it go.

Fun fact—those cop scenes were filmed like that because they didn’t have the lighting to film them out any further.

Posted by Mike Chen on 05/27/09 at 11:13 AM ET

Mike, any reference to Manos is made of win. I’m pretty sure the MST3K guys said this was the worst movie they had to watch, and I’d have to agree. Not much connection to Campbell, though considering how badly Manos failed, I have wondered what the league would be like if Warren was the Commissioner.

If you ever decide to reference a MST3K movie again, I vote Puma Man ("Wait a minute, pumas can’t fly! Pumas can’t fly!") or The Final Sacrifice (the hero is an overweight Canadian wearing a white jean jacket named Rowsdower).

Posted by Aphaea from Pennsylvania on 05/27/09 at 11:49 AM ET

Aphaea, all I have to say is..."MITCHELL!"

Posted by Mike Chen on 05/27/09 at 11:54 AM ET

THEPU-MAY-MAN!

Posted by Chris from Flint on 05/27/09 at 03:51 PM ET

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About Mike Chen’s Hockey Blog

Mike Chen prides himself in being the only hockey writer integrating puck discussion with both Morrissey quotes and Star Wars references. Since 2004, he’s blogged about all things hockey and currently contributes to FoxSports.com, the Battle of California, and RotoRob.

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