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Team USA’s Personality Experiment

by Mike Chen on 06/29/09 at 04:11 PM ET
Comments (2)

What’s going to happen when snarky Ron Wilson, explosive John Tortorella, and Scott Gordon get together to run Team USA? Here’s a secret transcript from the future as the three coaches have their first meeting to discuss playing style. Let the wackiness ensure…

Ron Wilson: Ok, so we’re going to go with a passive 1-2-2 forecheck…
John Tortorella: No! Damn it, Ron, safe is death! Especially against Team Canada.
RW: Listen John, I may not be as *cough* brilliant as you but I’ve been around a while and I think I’ve seen enough to know when to use a passive system.
JT: Oh, good for you, Ron. You think an old bastard like this can keep up?
RW: Wait, wait, what’s this? (reaches into back pocket) Oh, look, it’s a video of me winning the 96 World Cup. On my iPhone 3GS.
JT: You can 3GS my balls, Ron. I’ve won a Stanley Cup.
RW: I could have won a Stanley Cup with that roster.
JT: You couldn’t get out of the second round with the 72 Canadian team.
Scott Gordon: Um, guys?
RW/JT: Shut up, Scott.
SG: (walks over to the vending machine) Crazy bastards…

Filed in: International Hockey | Mike Chen's Hockey Blog | Permalink
Tags: Team+USA,

Comments

Don’t forget Brian Burke, Mike.

Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 06/29/09 at 03:29 PM ET

I wonder why Gordon was included over someone like Laviolette…

Posted by NHLJeff from Boston, MA on 06/29/09 at 04:19 PM ET

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About Mike Chen’s Hockey Blog

Mike Chen prides himself in being the only hockey writer integrating puck discussion with both Morrissey quotes and Star Wars references. Since 2004, he’s blogged about all things hockey and currently contributes to FoxSports.com, the Battle of California, and RotoRob.

Questions? Comments? Hate mail? Contact Mike here.