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You Can Take The Awards Show Out Of Toronto…

by Mike Chen on 06/19/09 at 12:35 PM ET
Comments (3)

How does the old saying go? You can put lipstick on a pig (or an Iowa Chop) but it’s still a pig? Yeah, something like that.

For a more appropriate version of that, you can put Carrie Milbank on the NHL Awards Show but it’s still the NHL Awards Show.

The very strange thing about this year’s Las Vegas not-so-spectacular is that I found the run-up to it to be fairly entertaining. From the outdoor skating with Alexander Ovechkin to the pretty amusing red carpet interviews with the lovely Carrie Milbank, it seemed like just about all of the players were in a relaxed, goofy mood and willing to joke around. One of the best things I heard out of Vegas was Patrick Kane and Kris Versteeg on the NHL Hour, where Kane told the story of how he wasn’t allowed near the gambling tables because of his age.

Then came the actual Awards Show.

I suppose that I should preface this by saying that I didn’t watch the whole thing. I lasted about 10 minutes before it just got too painful to bear; after that, it was just occasional tune-ins to see who won. Ok, I understand when the Barenaked Ladies and Tragically Hip make their regular appearances at these things like they’ve done for umpteen years, but Chaka Khan? Who booked that one and what was the logic behind that? Unless she’s married to some third-line checker from the 1980s, that’s a little bit of stretching.

And it all went downhill from there. Or, as Luc Robitaille might have said, “It...all...went...down...hill...from...uh...there (uncomfortable laugh).”

Look, these guys aren’t actors and we shouldn’t expect them to be, so please stop throwing them in these awfully scripted teleprompter moments. I can accept Steve Mason rattling off all the people to thank in a monotone fashion because I’m sure he’s got a list that he’s trying very hard to check off. But when we have to watch two professional athletes try to make teleprompter reading sound natural, well, it almost rivals The Office in terms of uncomfortable silence.

As for my man Jeremy Roenick, he of several movie cameos and guest TV appearances? JR, I love you, but you’re not ready for live TV yet. At least when Wayne Gretzky hosted Saturday Night Live, he had the whole SNL cast to catch him as he fell.

So the final verdict? Vegas good, Awards Show bad (or as bad as it ever was). Keep it in Vegas for the shenanigans around the show, but the regular pomp and circumstance remains too painful to watch. I’m all for the NHL Awards at the hotel pool after everyone in attendance has had a few margaritas (including Carrie Milbank). Now that would be entertaining.

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Tags: Awards, Jeremy+Roenick,

Comments

from Austin Knoblauch of the Fablous Forum at the LA Times,

Rather than hold its usual, postseason award show at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto with the likes of Alanis Morissette and the Bare Naked Ladies acting as entertainment, the NHL shot a knucklepuck at its fans by holding this year’s hardware handout in Las Vegas on Thursday night.

Even though most of the players probably loved being in Vegas (MVP Alex Ovechkin said he won $500 on the blackjack tables), I don’t understand why the league keeps retreating from its traditional fan-base like its being chased down a mirrored hallway by Dale Hunter and Derek Boogaard. Why would you have an award show in place where most people think Frozen Fury has something to do with Chuck Liddell or a pay-per-view involving hotel bellhops throwing buckets of ice at each other?

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 06/19/09 at 12:01 PM ET

Sorry, but Carrie Millbanks sitting next to Heidi Androl was something like Malkin sitting next to Brad Pitt in looks comparison department. Poor Carrie.

Posted by jmiller on 06/19/09 at 12:02 PM ET

Chaka Khan Chaka Khan!

I thought she was a terrible choice, but she probably has incriminating pictures of Gary Bettman, Jim Balsillie, and a sheep somewhere…

The first 40 minutes were fast-paced, sharp, and focused, but after that, you could practically hear the CBC call in and say, “Look, if we can’t have Ron MacLean host” (and the show needed a host, just not Bad Joke MacLean), “At least keep ‘er going till The National at ten!”

So the commercial breaks piled up and the show began to drag like a Devils-Wild game, circa 2001.

Posted by George James Malik from South Lyon, MI on 06/19/09 at 03:25 PM ET

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About Mike Chen’s Hockey Blog

Mike Chen prides himself in being the only hockey writer integrating puck discussion with both Morrissey quotes and Star Wars references. Since 2004, he’s blogged about all things hockey and currently contributes to FoxSports.com, the Battle of California, and RotoRob.

Questions? Comments? Hate mail? Contact Mike here.